


The Thrill

by Janeiina



Category: Glee
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Explicit Language, Humor, Kissing, M/M, Niff, Power Play, Romance, Violence, something that might be mistaken for dubcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-02
Updated: 2013-04-20
Packaged: 2017-11-23 09:59:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 27,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/620873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janeiina/pseuds/Janeiina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeff is just a regular guy, but his world turns upside down when the new transfer student lays a hand on him; he's something else! A story about Jeff's fight for attention and Nick's fight for control and maybe something more...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. See me

"You are staring again."

A blond head snapped to attention. "What? I'm not star-..ing.." Mid word, dragging the last syllable, something behind his best friend caught his eye again and the blond boy tilted his head to get a better look.

"Hey, hey, HEY!" Kurt snapped his fingers in front of the blond's face. "I get it, Jeffrey. He's handsome and all, but would you please listen to me?"

Jeff did not move, but merely glanced at his friend. "Don't call me that," he huffed.

"Oh, I knew it!" Kurt grinned, triumphantly clapping his hands together. "You like him, don't you?"

" _Kuurt!_ "

"Ha! You totally like that guy!" He grabbed Jeff's chin with one hand and tilted him upright to look at him. "At least he's not your teacher this time. I remember very distinctively your last crush was on a certain Mr.."

The blond's eyes went wide and he wrapped his fingers around his friend's wrist tightly. "Oh my God, Kurt!" he hissed, "Shut up!"

"Come on, Jeff, you gotta give me something here! I haven't had this much fun since.."

"What?" The blond snapped. "Since Blaine broke up with you?" He flinched as soon as the words left his lips, the hurt in Kurt's eyes making him curse himself internally. "Sorry," he said with a small voice. "Sorry, I didn't mean to.:"

Kurt repositioned himself and straightened up. "Yeah, well. Gotta get used to that feeling.." He brushed Jeff's hand aside and took out a tiny mirror to check his perfectly coiffed chestnut hair. "But you do like him?" He added with a raised eyebrow when Jeff's gaze flickered past Kurt's shoulder again.

The tall boy bit his lower lip guiltily before he decided to confirm. "Yes."

"And you are aware that he's bad news?"

Jeff touched his neck warily. "I am."

* * *

_Three weeks earlier.._

Jeff was sitting near the back of his Spanish class as usual, listening to most likely his favorite female teacher of all time, when a boy stepped through the door about half an hour late. He had dark hair and looked.. pissed? His eyes were dark as well.. as far as Jeff could tell anyway from his seat, since his glasses were lying abandoned on his desk. He quickly put them on.

"Attention clase!" Ms. Holiday chirped as she motioned the new boy to step closer. "I've been informed that we have a transfer on our hands now! Nick Duval, right?" She patted the dark teen on the arm, gripping slightly before she turned back to the other bored looking students, an impressed smile on her lips. "Boy, you're a handful, aren't you?"

Jeff buried his face in his hands.  _She did not just say that.._  Poor Nick, Ms. Holiday could be a bit forward at times.. He peaked through his slender fingers only to see Nick raising an eyebrow at the teacher. Then, readjusting his leather jacket, he pushed her hand off himself and winked at her. "More like a mouthful," he said nonchalantly and made his way to the last row, taking a seat right behind the blond.

"Ha ha, very funny! I like you already," Ms. Holiday called after him and then pointed at someone in the front to repeat some conjunction or whatever.. Jeff didn't really care and he did not pay attention at all after this. It took him several minutes to close his mouth, still in shock by the brunet's bluntness, and another twenty to calm his nerves at the thought of Nick looking at the back of his head right now..

It wasn't until his next Spanish class that he set eyes on the mysterious brunet again. He had heard stuff about him shoving people around and apparently easily making friends with some Skanks, but that didn't bother Jeff.. He was not afraid of a lot of things.. Only his own emotions sometimes.

That changed on the fourth day, though.

He walked around the gym to get away from Kurt for a while. He loved his best friend, but sometimes.. Well, sometimes he needed some space and me-time. Without his glasses he probably wouldn't have seen him, but having them on Jeff was able to differentiate Nick from the dark wall behind him.

The brunet was propped against the gym in his leather jacket and an equally dark pair of jeans, cigarette in one hand and blowing smoke rings out of his mouth. He was staring into the sky as Jeff passed by slowly, less than 25 feet of ground between them. The blond had never been this close to Nick while they were both standing up and he noted that he had at least two or three inches on the brunet, making him smirk internally.

"You know that causes cancer, right?" he heard himself say before he could stop himself.  _Why did I stop? Stuupid._

Nick glanced over indifferently. "So?"

"And growth disturbances.."

Nick furrowed his brows at him almost in shock before his face scrunched up in annoyance. "Watch out, blondie, you don't want to make me angry," he snarled.

"Don't mind me, I would not dare bother you.. Only make you hot and bothered," the blond added with a smirk and strolled off, the adrenaline rushing through his body like crazy. He couldn't believe he had had the balls to say something like that!  _Oh my fucking God. I am so dead.._

Which was kind of accurate.

He didn't take five steps before he was yanked back by his collar, causing him to yelp in surprise, and pressed into the gym wall, the brunet close to his body, glaring at him. "You think you're funny, blondie?" Nick's hands fisted into Jeff's plaid button down, harshly holding him in place. One hand moved over the blond's chest until Nick wrapped his fingers around Jeff's throat, glancing down to give him a full look over. His lips twisted into a dangerous looking smirk. "Not too bad," he chuckled darkly, roughly pressing his thumb under Jeff's Adam's apple.

The blond's eyes were wide in fear, his body tense but limp at the same time. "Let me go," he managed to hiss between clenched teeth as Nick pulled his button down up just a bit. Dark eyes roamed over his body before he looked straight into Jeff's eyes again, all playfulness gone.

"Don't mess with me, pretty boy. You will not talk to me or even talk back at me," he threatened, the grip around Jeff's neck tightening just a notch. "Or you will regret it!" He let go, only to let his hands stray and feel Jeff up through his tight jeans. "Not too bad at all..," he chuckled lowly and off he was.

The tall boy stood there stunned, supporting his weight against the brick wall.  _What the hell just happened?_   _Is that guy bipolar or something?_ Slowly, he raised a hand and lightly touched his neck, wincing in pain when he did so.  _That'll bruise.._  Somewhere in that masochistic twisted mind of his he found that oddly arousing. Shaking his head in disbelief, he pushed off the wall and went back into the direction where he'd come from.  _What is it with him?_


	2. Touch me

The next day Jeff came to school with a light gray keffiyeh around his neck to hide the coin sized bruises that had flourished on his pale skin.. It was mid fall, he wore this scarf almost every day during fall.. He could get away with it.

So he thought.

Kurt of course, with his laser eyes or  _whatever_ , raised an eyebrow at his friend during second period. "You hiding something?"

Jeff looked over reluctantly. "No, why?"

"You've been touching your.. your neck constantly for the past hour. Got a new lady friend? Guy friend?"

Jeff rolled his eyes. "It's not a hickey, Kurt."

The brunet sighed and poked him in the arm. "Whatever, Jeff.  _Anyway_ , you shouldn't wear gray to that outfit." He waved his hand up and down Jeff's profile.

The blond looked down at his clothes; a teal long sleeve with a black vest and jeans, and then back at his friend with furrowed brows. "What's wrong with this?"

"You can't be serious? Wow. I don't think we can be friends any more.."

"Don't be so melodramatic, Kurt. You're such a bitch sometimes," Jeff muttered under his breath, his eyes on the teacher again. Kurt raised both eyebrows now.  _So?_

After another ten minutes or so, Jeff had his head resting on his arms on top of his desk. "I'm bored out of my fucking mind," he groaned when Kurt tried to get his attention. The brunet chuckled and then slapped his friend in the head; Mr. Shue was busy grading papers while they had some assignments to do.  _Bo-ring_. Jeff tilted his head to watch his friend write down the answers with ease and he wet his lips. "Do you know the new guy?" he asked innocently, receiving an indifferent shrug in return. "I mean you know almost everybody at this school.. or in the Royal family."

Kurt looked up from his paper, intent eyes focused on the blond's half hidden face. "Why do you care?"

"Morbid curiosity."

"Nick Duval. He's on the running team, keeps to himself mostly unless he's with some skanky clientele," the brunet rattled down.

Jeff raised his head from his arm-pillow and leaned closer. "What do you mean, 'clientele'?"

"Word is he's a dealer of some kind.." Kurt still seemed indifferent, though. Nothing major, apparently.

"Mr. Hummel, Mr. Sterling! Silence in the back row now," the teacher called from the front of the room. And that was that, blocking a flood of questions forming in Jeff's mind.

*

During lunch Jeff was out in the parking lot to get some kind of clothes from his car. Anything would've worked really; it was so much colder outside than he'd expected and sitting with Kurt on the steps this way was a pain in the ass. On his way back he crossed the bike stand, a usual skank hide out, finding it empty except for Nick who was smoking again. When he spotted the blond he glared at him and puffed out a long breath of smoke as if to childishly tell him to fuck off. "You following me?"

Jeff stopped in his tracks. "No?" He zipped his flashy hoodie and turned to leave, then stopping as a thought crossed his mind. "So, what're you dealing?"

Another wad of smoke escaping his lips, Nick got to his feet. "Who said I was?"

"Word."

Nick narrowed his eyes at the blond and stepped a little closer, though still staying out of reach. "What's it to you? You buying?"

"You got any weed?"

"Yes."

"I'm not," the blond said with a wink, smirking triumphantly. "..Buying." The brunet huffed annoyed and stomped his cigarette out. When he looked back up, ready to threaten the hell out of this cheeky sneaky bitch of a princess, he was greeted with the sight of a pretty nice ass running up the stairs to the main school building. He snarled and ground his teeth.  _Son of a.._

Jeff's heart was pounding and bouncing in his chest when he flopped down next to Kurt on one of the tables, grinning widely from ear to ear, the rush of adrenaline clouding his mind.  _I'm_ so _dead._  He laughed a little, causing Kurt to question his sanity for the nth time that day.

Nick on the other hand was brooding on his way to Spanish class. Why he even bothered to go was beyond him.. He just did. Probably boredom or something?

_Right._

He went through the door and, passing the aisles of tables, straight to his seat, glaring at the blond who was already there, his hoodie hanging around the back of his chair. The brunet smirked at the frightened look on Jeff's face.  _Jeff Sterling.._  he thought.  _What is it with this kid?_

He launched in his seat, eyes drilling holes into the back of the blond's head. He followed the whirl of bright hair, watching it get darker near the base of his neck and then caught sight of something green peaking through from under Jeff's scarf. Nick's grin broadened at the marks he'd left on the pale boy's skin. Without thinking he reached out while Ms. Holliday greeted her class and began making them repeat some ridiculous nonsense about One Direction and the President.

Jeff was confused.. Nick was clearly a distraction to him, but why? He barely knew the guy. Well, that might be part of his mysterious grumpy appeal..  _Dangerous,_  he thought absentmindedly.  _And so hot.. Damn_ , he furrowed his brows,  _Jeff, you are such an idiot!_ Leaning back, he suddenly felt his keffiyeh being pulled back slowly. He froze, knowing that Nick was sitting alone and right behind him as usual, and turned his head warily. "What are you doing?" he hissed between tight lips, trying not to draw any unnecessary attention as his pulse was rising rapidly.

He couldn't see Nick's face, but his voice was soft like velvet when he answered. "Just admiring the view."  _Yeah right,_  the bright color spectrum visible on Jeff's neck was probably an awesome sight...  _for a psychopath._  Nonetheless, his breathing shakily, he started to stretch inconspicuously, revealing more of his bruised skin where Nick had pulled his scarf to the side.

The brunet trailed his fingers softly over one colorful mark, cooling the throbbing beneath the blond's hot skin with the coldness of his fingertips. "Jeff," he murmured, causing the tall boy to tense and then turn around to face him directly.

"How do you know my name?"

Nick's fingers were still on his neck and he scraped his nails around another bruise, soothing it afterwards with his thumb, a sly smile on his lips. "I have my ways." Jeff's eyes had fluttered shut and he leaned into the touch, almost suffocating as he tried intently to suppress a moan. Then, Nick pressed hard into the sensitive spot, making the blond grimace in pain. "Don't talk back to me," he repeated his demand from the other day, "Just don't." He settled back in his seat, mouthing words about Lindsay Lohan and rehabilitation, leaving Jeff breathless and flustered.

Oh.. And turned on.  _So fricking turned on._


	3. Feel me

It'd been nearly two weeks since Nick transferred and Jeff kept on catching himself thinking about any possible way to get closer to the guy. It felt weird. Weird and somehow.. inescapable. Jeff'd seen Nick a few times by the bikes, always smoking or glaring. Once, he'd seen him deal with the Skanks and just wow.. Instant hard-on. For whatever reason.. He stopped questioning his body's stupid obsession with the brunet during the first weekend when a certain someone kept invading his mind while the blond was in the shower. Or in bed. Or doing homework, chores or nothing at all..

Now, he simply followed his impulse to stalk the guy. He knew it was stupid.  _Stupid, stupid, stupid.._  that's what that was. Every thought was a waste of time; Nick was not interested in him in the slightest.  _Well, maybe a little?_ He thought about the touchy thing.  _Ugh.. Stup-_

From the corner of his eye where he was sitting in the school yard he caught sight of the familiar leather jacket, making his way over to the gym. This time Nick did not vanish behind the building, though, but entered it like a regular student.  _Huh_ , Jeff thought.  _He actually goes to gym class?_ Jeff hadn't seen him there before, only outside on the running tracks. Nick seemed like no one who'd do sports, team sports of all things. Although, when you think about it, running isn't really a team sport. But he  _was_  on the team. Kurt had said he was on the team. Made sense?

Jeff followed the brunet inside, only to be hit in the face with a sudden warmth, overwhelming and even more sickening the further he went. _What the-?_ Jeff stripped off his jacket and sat down on the bleachers, his mind rambling about but slowly shutting up in this disgusting heat. He watched Nick preparing to do some laps on his own, headphones in his ears and his face blank with concentration. His hair was already plastered to his skull, certainly due to the heat inside the gym. Only a few longer strands were flopping around his face when he eventually began to jog on the inside cinder track.

Soon, the gym filled with other students getting ready for class. Kurt waved Jeff down to the locker room and once they were changed their teacher Mr. Tanaka, that lazy ass motherfu- (Jeff sighed internally.  _You're swearing too much, Sterling.._ ), told them the heater was broken and kind of overpowering.  _Well, no shit, Sherlock._  He couldn't do anything about it until the janitor came back, so they were allowed to do whatever they wanted as long as it wasn't too exhausting. Gym outside was out of the question. Too cold, too rainy, too everything. At least that explained why Nick was running inside today.

*

Jeff was leaning against a cool wall and contemplated faking a heart attack.  _Just rub your left arm, clutch your chest, drop down.._ He groaned when he tossed his damp t-shirt to the ground and shook his hair. He had done some gymnastics stuff with Kurt, but the warmth was killing him.  _Jesus fucking Christ, what's with the sauna anyway?_  Why class wasn't being canceled was beyond him. By lifting the white tank top he wore underneath he fanned the heated skin of his back and stomach, heavy eyelids dropping in bliss at the cooling sensation.

He shook his head again and brushed his bangs to the side. That's when he glanced up and immediately found a pair of dark eyes lingering where his other hand was still holding his top in place. Nick was on the other side of the gym at the weights and his arm had comically stopped mid-movement. His gaze was entirely focused on that one strip of the blond's exposed skin.

Slowly but steadily, Jeff began to lift the white fabric up a little more; his fingers were lightly brushing through the hair below his navel, then along the mid-section of his defined but lean stomach. His body was getting hotter, the warmth of the gym multiplied by the blush that crept up his neck. Everyone else seemed oblivious to the show, trapped in their own little worlds of exhaustion, and then Nick dropped the weights, his eyes meeting Jeff's in an intense glare. The blond smirked leisurely, barely able to suppress a full-on grin as once more the adrenaline started to rush through his veins.  _Gotcha!_

He held the brunet's stare and with a suggestive sway of the hips pealed the tank top off completely. Unceremoniously, it fell to the ground next to his t-shirt. With his thumb he traced the v-line of his pelvis, winked in Nick's direction and after turning around and stretching his back payed attention to Kurt again. His breathing was shallow since it felt like Nick's eyes were burning holes into the back of his head, but the constant chatter of his friend helped him to calm down.

*

Sometime in the middle of class, he moved his stuff to the locker room, only mildly disgusted with the thought of his dirty clothes on the dirty floor. Also, the heat was still killing him, but  _whatever.._  Mr. Tanaka didn't seem to care too much; he had his portable miniature fan. Kurt's only comments were that this "isn't Siberia" and that the heat was bad for his skin. Very helpful, indeed.

Once in the bathroom, Jeff splashed his face and neck with water. He froze in front of the mirror, one hand still on his shoulder, when he saw Nick in the reflection leaning in the doorway, his arms folded across his chest.

Jeff didn't dare to move. His eyes met Nick's through the mirror and widened in fear and anticipation when the brunet pushed off the door frame, flicking a cigarette butt in the drain. The thumping of his heart was back and it was deafening; his brain instantly sort of short-circuited. "You really should stop smoking. You'll run better, if y-you do.." He stuttered the last bit in terror when he realized that just then he was entirely fucked for opening his mouth, his face creasing as if in pain.  _Stupid!_

Nick closed the space between them in a few short seconds; his gaze finally leaving Jeff's, only to focus on a drop of water running down the blond's spine. He rested a hot hand on the small of Jeff's back, making him flinch, and pushed him against the sink. When he spoke, his warm breath ghosted over the tall boy, eliciting goosebumps where it hit the wet skin. "And you really, really shouldn't have done that," he threateningly whispered into the empty bathroom, the faint sound of a locker banging shut coming from outside.

Jeff shivered. "I didn't do anything," his voice was small and it didn't really help his case.  _Dead,_ he thought briefly. _Again._

Nick pressed his fingertips more harshly into Jeff's waist, who in response closed his eyes and, while letting out a shaky breath, leaned into the touch.  _So dead._  His knuckles turned white as he clenched to the sink for support.

Nick frowned in frustration, "You're are such an annoying little bitch.." His eyes were still set on the drops glistening on the blond's back, covered in a hot sheen of perspiration, and he lowered his lips for a taste of the tanned skin, following the bumps of his spine with his tongue. Jeff gasped at the touch and barely suppressed a moan while Nick's mouth moved up and outlined his shoulder.

Not really sure when he started and whether he cared or not, but soon enough he was basically chewing on his lower lip to keep quiet, almost drawing blood as the brunet's hot tongue reached the junction of his neck. Nick bit down possessively and sucked over the last of Jeff's fading yellow marks, shining almost green in the harsh blueish neon light, and brought the bruise back up.

He pushed into the blond's back and bent him over the sink with ease. One hand wandered over Jeff's ass, touched and squeezed and then moved to the front of his pants. The blond groaned, his eyes flying open as Nick cupped him though the thin fabric of his sport shorts, and he covered the brunet's daring hand with his own, urging him to go further. He searched Nick's face in their reflection, staring wide-eyed into the other's dark glistening glare, recognizing a smirk that invaded the corner of his mouth.

"Nick," he choked out as the brunet sneaked his free hand around and up Jeff's torso, closing his fingers around his damp neck. He thumbed into the newly bruised skin, making the blond's hiss and moan with heavy lidded eyes. Jeff pushed back into Nick's touch, although there was already no space between them anymore, and sensed the outline of the other's hard-on against his thigh.

Just as Jeff started panting, there was another bang of the lockers interrupting the dense atmosphere. "Jeff?" Kurt's voice followed shortly after and echoed through the changing room.

Instantly, Nick let go. An almost gentle brush of fingers trailed along Jeff's neck, over his shoulder and down his arm before the brunet whispered into the blond's shoulder blades, "Don't provoke me again, pretty boy!"

"You think I'm pretty?" Jeff uttered under his breath, but Nick only grimaced and turned away.

"Jeff?"

"Ye-," the blond's voice cracked and he coughed awkwardly. "Yes, Kurt! Coming!" He looked down at the obvious tent in his shorts.  _If only.._


	4. Hold me

Two days later, Jeff was walking around school alone, Kurt being ill, and he was bored out of his freaking mind. When he crossed the gym he faltered. He hadn't seen Nick all day, not by the bikes, not even in Spanish class. Now however, he could hear the brunet's voice sounding from nearby, mixed with a few others in a unreadable turmoil.

Warily walking around the tall building, Jeff felt his heart thumping heavily in his chest. He peaked around the corner and set eyes on a confusing sight not too far in front of him. Four figures were hissing at each other, shoving at shoulders, grabbing jackets. Jeff recognized two of the local Skanks, tall dark haired boys with ripped clothes and cigarettes between clenched teeth he'd seen around. Then there was one older looking guy Jeff had never seen before. He looked even more broody than Nick who was cornered against the red bricked gym wall.

Then, the first punch.

One of the Skanks threw his fist at Nick's face, but he ducked to the side and countered with one of his own, punching the air out of the other's lungs with a huff. The other Skank, who Jeff now identified as Hunter from his English class, snarled angrily and held Nick's shoulders in a tight grip. The older guy said something in a low voice before his fist connected with Nick's chin, again his cheek, his chin again and then his stomach. Nick looked pained as he spat blood to the ground.

Suddenly, Jeff's body came to life. At the sight of bright red spatter against the light gray gravel, his paralysis seemed to wear off immediately and before he knew what he was doing he crossed the distance between him and the group, calling out to them. "Hey!" He clenched and unclenched his fingers on his way over, yanking the older guy by his shoulder and away from Nick. "What do you think you're doing?" He was met with fierce blue eyes and then a hand grabbed him by his collar.

"Get lost!" The old one snapped at him, "This is none of your busine-" He couldn't finish since by then Jeff had already knelt him in the balls. The man fell to his knees, swearing rigorously as the blond pulled his head up by his hair and punched him in the nose before his knee connected with his chin for good measure. Nick had taken the opportunity to shove Hunter off and draw a knife from his shoe. Jeff wiped some blood off his jeans and stared at the weapon in disbelief. Swiftly, he moved to Nick and carefully placed a hand on his arm. "You two better take a hike," he told the Skanks and with the brunet's intent eyes focused entirely on him he led Nick to the back entrance of the gym.  _Better get the hell outa here_ , he thought.  _Before the other one gets back up.._

 _Or,_ which was more likely _, before Nick does anything overly stupid._

"Let go," Nick bitched after Jeff took the knife and placed it in his back pocket. The brunet struggled against his grip, obviously coming back to his senses. There was a bleeding cut on his lip, the taste of copper clouded his mind. He spat out again. Jeff's hand didn't, though. Let go, that was, and Nick was getting aggravated.  _Who does he think he is?!_

"You shouldn't have interfered," he said, when the blond sat him down on a bench in one of the empty locker rooms. He made a move to get up but Jeff's grip tightened and now Nick was  _actually_  struggling, desperately trying to get the blond off of him. But he couldn't. Surprised, he sank back and raised a questioning brow at Jeff, who turned to wet some paper towels by the sink.

"Yeah, 'cause you handled that so very well." He was back and gently dabbed over the dark cut. "A knife? Really, Nick?" Jeff's breathing was slowly calming down. He hadn't even noticed that he'd been panting lightly.

The brunet slapped his hand away. "Give it back, Jeff!"

"No freaking way, Duval. Are you kidding me?!" Nick shoved the blond a few steps back and got up again. He grabbed for Jeff's jeans but the blond overpowered him until he was, once more, placed on his butt. "Oh Nicky, if you wanted to get a handful of this," suggestively and with a grin, he let one hand slide over his own ass, "all you had to do was ask."

_Or rather.. just take._

Nick grimaced at him. He was in the middle of processing. Then, instead of going for the obvious, he asked, "Why did you come here?"

"I was here first," Jeff shrugged. "You transferred, remember?" Nick responded with a pained grunt.  _Huh._ "Okay! Fine,  _Nicholas_ , you interest me, okay? I find you.. fascinating." Jeff waved the stained towel in front of the other's body. "You and your stupid cliche jacket and your broody beautiful face-" As if his words finally registered with his babbling mind, Jeff was suddenly silent, a hand covering his mouth.

"What?" Nick's head jerked up, a faint blush showing on his cheeks.  _Maybe_  Jeff was hallucinating. Those were probably two cheek sized bruises right there..  _Or not_. With the slightest chance of him being wrong, he sure as hell wouldn't mention Nick freaking Duval _blushing_ , seeing the brunet so uncomfortable all of a sudden.

"Well," he mumbled instead, coughing awkwardly. "You wanted to know. And for why I came here, as in: the gym, you looked like you needed some help." He wrung another paper towel over the sink and stepped closer. "Now come here, tough guy, let me see that cut again."

Nick flinched when Jeff touched his lip with the damp cloth. "I'm fine. Let go off me!" The blond's hand held his chin in place and he struggled against his grip.. In vain. Shooting Jeff a puzzled glare, his mind was back to putting stuff together. Too much struggling was happening here..

Jeff smirked knowingly, but soon his lips softened into a little smile. "You aren't the only one around with.. strength," he said lowly. He looked at the brunet through his lashes, wondering, seeing his hazel eyes dart back and forth, and then... There it was. The literal bolt of lightning. Hitting him.

"But I.. you mean?" His eyes were wide with disbelief. "You just let me.." Lowly, Nick's voice echoed lonely off the tiled gray walls. "But why?"

"I already told you why," Jeff provided as he dabbed another wet tissue over Nick's swollen lip. The drying blood colored the crispy clean fabric bright crimson, that then slowly faded from rusty drops to muddy streaks.

"I didn't need your help. And I'm not fascinating!"

"My hormones beg to differ."

"What is it with you?" Nick's voice had lost all his threat, he sounded sincerely curious.  _Still wrapping his head around..._

"With me? What is it with  _you_?" Jeff answered quietly. Gently, he traced his thumb around the sensitive swollen spot. "What's with the dark demeanor and the growling? And the-" He lent back and touched his neck warily. The  _hickey_  – and this time the bruise was an actual real hickey, done right with a mouth and a tongue and lips, pressed to skin and everything. Not less brutal but also not suffocating like before. Yes, that one – It still showed green below his tanned skin. "It's to remind me, right? Of what could happen?" Nick didn't answer, although his dark eyes followed the brush of the blond's fingers. "But to me, it's a promise, you know."

"You are sick," Nick muttered, venom in his low tone.  _Reckless_ , he thought.

"Aren't I?" Jeff put the dirty towels in the nearby trash can, allowing Nick to stand up from the bench. "And you are being rather nice today."

"I'm not nice."

"I know."

"And still.." he faltered shortly.  _Still you let me do that to you._  He straightened, putting his default sour face on. "What do you want from me?"

Jeff shrugged and turned back to face the brunet, who was suddenly standing very close by. "Tu atencion." The blond raised a playful eyebrow. "What do  _you_  want?" Nick pondered. No one ever asked him that.

He looked up, searching for something in Jeff's brown eyes. Answers that he couldn't find. With the back of his left hand, he touched the bruise before he slowly curled his fingers around the blond's neck. He pulled him down harshly, their eyes locked and lips less than a few centimeters apart.

"Control."


	5. Consume me

_What does that even mean?_

Early in the morning, Jeff was bemused, angsting his way through English Lit and on edge to jump out of his freaking skin. One hand was in his bright, already tousled hair, holding tightly onto the few longer strands of his bangs.

_Jesus fucking Christ._

Confusion. Yep, that was totally it. He was confused. Captain America trying to understand Siri type of confused.  _Jesus._ Nick had.. He had.. and..  _People never notice anything._  Multiple times, Jeff eyes wandered over the same passage in his Catcher in the Rye edition.  _Huh._ He wondered if he hadn't noticed something crucial that might explain why in the name of God Nick had been ignoring him for the last week after they.. After he..  _Ugghh!_

Jeff buried his face in the crook of his elbow.  _What does anything mean anymore?_  Kurt poked his arm, one eyebrow raised at his friend's antics. He shoved a piece of paper over to the blond. Jeff sighed after unfolding it and scribbled a quick answer.  _Fuck off_ , it read. Kurt twisted his lips in obvious discontent and glared at him for the rest of class.

"Asking what I missed the last few days that made you such a mess is hardly a reason to tell me to fuck off, Jeffrey!" Kurt chirped when they left for lunch. "That's plain rude." Now it was the blond's turn to glare, but his stare lost his intensity when he caught sight of a certain brunet walking down the hall in the opposite direction.

Kurt followed the blond's eyes and, putting two and two together upon seeing 'that broody new guy' as he preferred to call him in his mind, decided for the sake of his best friend's mood and his own to let it slide. For now.

That did last.. exactly twenty minutes.

They ate outside, sitting on top of one of the tables, while Kurt was chatting about his plans of becoming a cheerleader or something. Jeff didn't really listen since,  _well_.. Nick was outside as well, not in any of his usual spots, though. He simply sat there under a tree. The blond could see him eating a sandwich over his best friend's shoulder.

The conversation that followed was merely a faint memory as soon as Jeff tried to remember it afterward.

_You are staring again.. You like him, don't you? He's bad news._

Subconsciously, he touched his neck where the bruises had finally faded. Finally. Unfortunately.. Considering what Jeff wanted,  _desired_  more than anything. He closed his eyes and the vivid image of Nick's intense hazel gaze so close to himself invaded his mind.

And he had been so close. Not closer than others Jeff had been with, but the blond craved it now.

*

_Thud thud._

_Thudthud._

_Thudthud, thudthud._

_Thudthud, thudthud, thud.._

Jeff's heart was bouncing in his chest, ready to burst through the rib cage; his pulse rising, rising, making him dizzy.

_Control.._

As a touch of warmth the word was breathed across his lips and his eyes fluttered close. His fingertips were tingling, so he grabbed the nearest thing without thinking twice about any of it.. The thing happened to be Nick's waist and Jeff clung to him as if his life depended on it. He could sense the brunet closing in on him and his breath hitched before surprisingly gentle lips found his in a chaste kiss.

Jeff let it happen. All of it.

His fingers dug deep into Nick's sides, but he did not pull him closer. Instead he waited, just like Nick would have wanted.  _Control._  The word rang in his ears like a spell and he was surprised that he was able to think any coherent thought at all. Everything else felt dizzy. Then, as the brunet parted from him with a soft smacking sound, he couldn't help the low whine of protest escaping his throat, his eyes blinking open. Nick made a hungry sound and wrapped his strong arms around the blond's neck to press their mouths back together, only this time with a lot more force and a certain sense of purpose. He licked along Jeff's lower lip and into him as soon as the tall boy opened up and granted him access.

They stood like this for long minutes, Nick's arms snaking back down around the blond's neck until both his hands cupped his face in a firm but intimate embrace. His skilled tongue moved passionately against Jeff's, slow and persistent, as his fingertips weaved through the light hair at the nape of the tall boy's neck. A moan sounded in the back of Jeff's mouth, causing Nick to freeze before he pulled away slowly.

"I-" The brunet blinked repeatedly, head bowed down heavily and eyes seemingly searching the floor for something, anything. With a swift sweep of his hand, he brushed his hair back in place and set one last look on Jeff standing wide-eyed, open-mouthed in front of him.

Subconsciously, Jeff reached out for him, a frown creasing his forehead, but Nick only stepped away further before he turned and basically fled the room. As if their roles were reversed and he was the prey now..

 _Jesus.._ Jeff looked down. His frown transformed into a pained grimace.  _Not_  that _as well! Exactly what I needed.._

*

Okay.. _that's enough!_

"Er, Jeff? Hello? Jeffrey!" Abruptly, and most surprisingly to Kurt who had just been filling his friend in on their plans for the weekend, the blond boy pushed himself off the table, swiftly jumped to his feet and walked away. "Where are you going? JEFF!"

Dismissively, he waved a hand behind his back and in his friend's direction. Kurt frowned, crossed his legs, narrowing his eyes as he watched Jeff walk towards one of the trees on the yard. He gasped when he saw who exactly Jeff was apparently heading for.

The tall boy came to a halt in front of Nick who looked up from his lunch, annoyed and squinting against the bright autumn light.

Why was he sitting on the ground anyway?  _Don't get distracted!_ Jeff pointed at him with one finger. "You'll catch a cold like this. Or hypothermia."  _Damn it._  "I mean.." He faltered shortly, his confidence crumbling under Nick's irritated gaze. "You." He pointed at Nick again. Then at himself. "And I. We need to talk."

Nick leaned back and shrugged nonchalantly. "I don't think so."

Jeff narrowed his eyes at the brunet, arms akimbo. "You are so frustrating! We  _will_  talk!"

"Not happening." Nick scrambled to his feet and shouldered his bag. He was stopped by a persistent hand on his arm when he tried to move.

"I will make a scene.." Jeff's voice was low but threatening. His eyes went wide in surprise when he was met with a smirk.

"Aren't you already?"

Jeff grinned back shortly. "Oh, shut up." He contemplated running his hand down to hold Nick's, but he couldn't bring himself to it. "So?"

The brunet sighed audibly and looked around the school commons. Only Jeff's friend with the weird hair was watching them. "Fine." He led the way to the parking lot and stopped behind a blue rusty jeep. "So?" He echoed Jeff's question.. Jeff, who was pretty damn close by when he had turned to speak to him.. From this distance, Nick was able to see the tiny freckles on the blond's nose and the caramel flecks of color in his brown eyes. He had a beautiful smile and right now he was showing it only to him, all perfect teeth and stretched soft lips.

Jeff's smile grew wider when he saw Nick searching his face not in annoyance but what seemed to be sincere curiosity. "Well," he began. "There was stuff, obviously there was stuff, you know that, you were there; and I wondered, since you kind of fled the building and then continued to ignore me, I wondered if that was like a one time deal or..?" He left the question unfinished, slowly having grown anxious by the amused look on Nick's face.

"You're talking too much."

That was..  _well_ , nothing new, actually. Thanks for pointing that out. He pushed an accusing finger into Nick's chest anyhow, just for good measure. "So?"  _Geez, I need a thesaurus.._

Nick flattened Jeff's hand to his chest with his own.  _Huh._ "So.. are you putting out?" Jeff snorted and rolled his eyes. He did not pull his hand from the brunet's grip, though. Instead, he pressed his fingers lightly into his skin through the thin fabric of the shirt Nick wore underneath his leather jacket.

"Maybe," he gazed sultrily into dark eyes getting darker, dragging the word out teasingly. Then he freed his hand and stepped back. "Depends entirely on you."

Nick looked quizzically at the blond before he smirked and started to walk past him back towards the main school buildings. "No," he said when he was on a par with him.

"No?" Jeff whipped around, disappointment clearly showing on his face as he followed Nick across the parking lot.

"No. It wasn't a one time deal."


	6. Cover me

"Nothing? Seriously?"

Jeff flopped back down onto the same table Kurt was still sitting on. "Huh?"

"I was kinda expecting a black eye or.." Kurt leaned back onto his elbows. "At least a hickey or something. The way you two made your exit.." He waved in the direction of the parking lot.

"No one even noticed except you," Jeff muttered with a shrug. "And it was nothing."

"Yeah, whatever." Kurt turned and sipped on his water, before he leaned up again, one hand on his crossed knee. "By the way," he said over the rim of his bottle, "that shirt is a joke, right?"

Jeff whipped his head around and glared a handful burning daggers into his friend's skull. "By the way, Kurt," he hissed back, his face scrunched into a cold, pained smile, "a bow tie? Really?"

Kurt's hand stopped mid-sweep over his well-coiffed hairdo.  _How does he even move that much?_  "They were Blaine's favorites.."

Jeff closed his eyes and inhaled slowly, his features softening immediately. His friend was still so hung up on that boy. Ever since Blaine had transferred back to Dalton, nothing had been the same with Kurt. Not really anyhow. A long silence fell between them while they were staying out in the cold for the rest of their lunch hour.

When the bell rang and they hopped off the table, Kurt flicked some lint off Jeff's shoulder. "For real, though. This one goes in the trash."

Jeff's brows knitted together in protest, "But.."

"Do I have to go through your closet again? Twice should have been enough." He pushed through the masses rushing to class towards his locker. "Especially since I dragged  _you_  out as well the last time.."

Jeff pulled a face and waved at his friend dismissively before he headed to History.

*

After that there were five days of no real interaction. The only sight Jeff ever got of Nick was during lunch when he sent longing glances across the yard. Nick on the other hand was checking him out regularly in the halls, most of the time Jeff didn't even notice. There was also the occasional brush of cold fingers on his neck during Spanish class that kept the blond's blood running hot. And he was growing impatient..

Not that patience was his strong point to begin with.

It took him two days to decide that he wanted to be more daring to get Nick's attention. Everything for a new bruise.. So he let Kurt pick his outfits and he started to ignore Nick's demands from a month ago. For once, he interfered with his drug business, telling most of the Skanks off before they got to Nick and his supplies. Got them to buy somewhere else. How he managed that? He didn't even know himself. It may have involved stories about his cop-dad or something. Whatever.. He also tried things that he hoped would provoke the brunet on a whole nother level. Like flirting with all kinds of girls and boys in the halls, rubbing it right in Nick's face.

Yes, Jeff was impatient. He knew that. He hadn't lasted 96 hours without Nick's attention and he was certainly not proud of it, but hey, considering the fifth day, he'd say that it went pretty well. You know, whatever floats your boat and all that jazz..

Another thing he was not proud to admit: Kurt's outfits actually looked really really good on him. They were mostly form fitting and overly flattering, and he'd thrown in a tie which Jeff really liked. Go figure. And it was by this exact tie that in between classes he was suddenly dragged into an empty classroom just outside his locker. He definitely did not let out an embarrassing, most unmanly squeal when he was abruptly pulled down the hall. Nope. Definitely not.

It took him some time to identify the dark thatch that had his hand on Jeff's tie, holding him close and hunched down so that his nose was almost buried in the brown locks. Only when he pushed through the door, Jeff is able to catch sight of his profile. Nick.

He suppressed a sigh of relief and aggravation.  _Of course it's him.._

_Neanderthal!_

He was way too busy with not tripping anyway to get too annoyed with this kind of uncivilized assault. Dizzily, he tumbled behind the other boy until he found himself being pressed into the teacher's desk. He grinned breathlessly.  _Kinky._

Nick's warm body was all over him in a second, closing the remaining distance between them till even their lips where pressed together. Like the first time, it was chaste and gentle at first, but Nick lingered, stole a few kisses by tugging Jeff further down. His fingers played with the dark fabric of the tie and the blond could actually feel Nick's smirk against his skin. "I like this," he mumbled between touching Jeff with his mouth, then let his hand wander behind the blond's back to grab his ass.

Jeff opened his mouth with a surprised gasp, causing the brunet to, once more, close the merely non-existent gap between them. Nick's tongue pushed over the seam of his lips and played along his teeth. Then again, he pulled away ever so slightly so that they were only barely not-touching. "What I don't like," he said lowly, "Is you messing with me."

"You know why," Jeff 's voice was thin and desperate, his eyes wide and his lips red, parted and tingling from the sensation of Nick on them. He wet them almost subconsciously, "Why I.." He was cut off by the brunet's mouth on his own. He wrapped his arms around Nick's shoulders, fingers grabbing at his dark hair, while Nick's other hand snaked around his waist and his strong arms and spread fingers pulled their bodies even more tightly together. He dove in, exploring like he might never get the chance again in his life. Jeff's mouth tasted of something sweet and fruity.

When they parted for air, Jeff held onto the brunet's neck for support and tilted his head back slightly to look into the other boy's eyes. He panted, "Like, seriously? You are actually serious right now?" Nick tightened his grip and attached his lips to the exposed skin above the blond's collar. Jeff moaned shamelessly. "You are actually serious right now!" His breathing hitched when Nick bit into the sensitive skin behind his ear and soothingly licked the newly formed bruise; nibbling on his pulse tentatively while he worked his way up Jeff's neck. "Not that I'm complaining."

"Shut up, Jeff," Nick groaned, licking the underside of the blond's jaw now, then continued sucking on his Adam's apple.

"But, I mean, why now?" Jeff's breathing was shallow, his warm pants hitting soft brown hair.

Nick bit him again. This time it was his lower lip. "I take whenever I damn please."  _Yeah right.._  Before Jeff got to complete that thought, though, he felt Nick's hand coming up from his back and covering his neck, while the other pulled him closer by his ass, crushing their hips together.

He moaned into Nick's mouth. "So not complaining." A sharp pain ran down his spine when the brunet's fingers pressed into the abused skin behind his ear. "I almost thought," he gasped when they parted for air again, "..you'd changed your mind."

Nick frowned into his neck where he was using his tongue to work on that bruise a little more, enjoying the way Jeff was tugging at his hair. "It's been less than a week, Jeff, and you were already onto a lot of other people."

Jeff grinned triumphantly. "You noticed?"  _Aw, you care._ "Anything to get to you," he admitted a little too truthfully for his own taste when Nick started nibbling on his earlobe.

"Is that so?" Nick's hand brushed over Jeff's heated chest, down to the waistband of his jeans. With a snap he popped the button open. "Figured there was no getting rid of you." He ground their hips together, squeezing the blond's ass eagerly. "I don't know why you do it.." He breathed into Jeff's ear. "Are you trying to provoke me.. on purpose?" He slapped him once on the behind. "I told you explicitly  _not_  to interfere.." Jeff moaned in response, desperately rubbing his crotch against Nick who placed a knee between the tall boy's legs. "You like it, hm?"

Nick seemed more like he was talking to himself than to Jeff. He mumbled into the blond's reddened skin, "I know you're strong, know for a fact that you're strong.." Jeff groaned at the friction of the brunet's knee against his painful hard-on. "You could stop me, could end this, but you don't." Nick kissed Jeff's jaw gently, then his cheek and the corner of his mouth. "You don't struggle. You actually want me to do this, don't you?" He moved his hands to hold on to Jeff's arms. "Like it when I pin you down?" Jeff gave a small nod, panting into shallowly into the crook of Nick's neck. "What about this?" Nick turned the blond harshly around and bent him over the desk. "Want me to hold you down, make you take it?" He himself was panting, shoving himself against Jeff's ass, who whimpered and let his head fall down onto his arms.

"You are allowed," Jeff gasped again when Nick didn't touch him again or did anything further. "You can have it."

"I know," Nick hissed in response. He seemed inconclusive, though, until after a while he leaned over Jeff's bent body and licked and nuzzled his neck and bit down harshly. "Wanna find out how much you can take, Jeffie?" He whispered hoarsely, lips pressed into the blond's skin, slowly turning a bright variety of colors. His warm breath made Jeff shiver, his nod almost lost to the eye due to his trembling body. "Such a pretty boy.." The bell rang before Nick could pull Jeff's jeans further down. "Dammit.."

"Shit," Jeff hissed and turned around. He looked positively wrecked, disappointed even. "Well, that's just awkward," he laughed breathlessly, boldly feeling Nick up. Just because. "Huh, you think I'm pretty?" he asked when he zipped up. Nick was flattening his hair down, his pupils still blown wide.

"Why do you think I bother with you?" He smirked.

Jeff snorted shortly and wiggled his hips suggestively. "So, you are in for my hot body?" Nick shrugged and turned toward the door. "Ha! So I am pretty!"  _Why am I so proud of this?_

Nick turned his head, glancing back at the blond who was following him outside. "Yeah, pretty hot.."


	7. Hurt me

"So," Jeff began, already dreading his choice of words. He coughed awkwardly. "So, is this a thing now?" Nick glared at him from behind the wheel of his jeep..  _Huh, that monstrosity was actually his?_  Jeff had imagined a motorcycle, but whatever. Leather jacket seemed cliche enough.

"What?"

"Well, you ignoring me for a week and then, you know," Jeff balanced his weight on his heels, hands buried in the pockets of his jeans. When had he become such an insecure boy toy? He frowned. He didn't like this; himself like this.  _This has to stop!_  He cleared his throat again. "Pouncing?" he offered with a shit grin.

Frozen to his seat, Nick looked like he was about to pop a vessel. "I didn't  _pounce_ ," he hissed, fingers massaging his throbbing temples roughly and he sighed into the dulling pain. "I merely take what is  _mine,_ " he didn't say. Though he knew it was true. Somehow Jeff was his, had become his over the course of the last month. "I merely take what I want," he didn't say either. Though that was also the truth and he hated it.  _Dreaded_  it, to be precise. Which only made him hate it more. Hate that this blond  _like any other nothing special_  boy had wormed himself into Nick's mind and, may he dare say, heart. Nick flinched.  _Lying to yourself again... Jeff is special. Talking shit, even if not out loud, about him: Not cool, Duval._

Instead of all this he said nothing at all. Jeff was right, though. He had kind of pounced.  _Twice._  This time he hadn't dragged the tall boy into an empty classroom but into a janitor's closet of all things. Maybe he was cliche.. Hopefully not, though. Hopefully not as much as he felt anyway. He had gotten his lips on the blond's body and around  _him_ , because.. why not? He wanted it,  _him_  so badly..

All during Spanish class, he'd been tracing the almost faded hickey just below Jeff's ear with light strokes of his cold fingertips. And Jeff coming on his face was probably the hottest thing that's happened to him in this town. Hell, Jeff looking all wrecked and ready to reciprocate was even hotter.

Of course he didn't say any of that either. He just gripped the steering wheel a little tighter under the blond's searching gaze.

"Come to my house tonight.. You know, to talk about this," Jeff said after a while of tense silence. "I'd like that."

"It's not a date," Nick clarified before he even agreeing to the plan ( _Dammit!_ ), "And don't expect me to come at all," he added hastily, the urge to face palm himself was immediate and overwhelming. Also.. Ha ha – pun not intended. But it had left his mouth anyway, so there's that.

"I don't expect anything from you," Jeff grinned as he leaned through the open window, "but an explanation and your ass in exactly these jeans." Utilizing the element of surprise, his left hand shot forward and he quickly groped Nick before the brunet might bite his arm off. "God, you're so hot," he sighed and with a smirk made a run for his own car, leaving Nick with his mouth hanging open.

After a few steps, Jeff glanced back one more time and, if Nick's angry glare was anything to go by, then he was in trouble.  _Big_ trouble...hopefully of the sexy kind. However, like this he had ensured that the brunet would actually show up tonight and, pleased with himself, he grinned to himself all the way to his house, his heart sky rocketing in his chest.

*

Jeff was not surprised at all when at 8 sharp Nick was standing on the other side of his front door, looking grumpy (hot, brooding.. take your pick!) as ever. He hadn't told him his address, just figured that if Nick knew how to google or whatever, he'd find the Sterlings anyway. Also, nice to imagine he made the effort. "Good evening, sunshine," he greeted, dragging the last syllable a little longer.

Nick rolled his eyes. "You letting me in?" he asked, running a hand through his messy dark hair.

Jeff raised an amused eyebrow. "Depends. Are  _you_?"  _Ha! Rhetorics are back! ...I'm awesome!_ Okay, maybe that was a little heavy on the self-esteem.

"Jeff," the other threatened lowly, intently. He didn't seem to be up for games tonight.. Obviously. Too bad, though.

"Fine, fine," the blond stepped aside and motioned for Nick to go upstairs.

Seating himself Indian style on Jeff's bed, Nick had his arms crossed over his chest, crinkling his dark jacket in the process. "Let's just get this over with," he huffed, deliberately avoiding the blond who mimicked his position on the floor.

"You can't just keep doing that-," Jeff began and faltered when Nick's head suddenly jerked to attention. "I mean, you  _can_ , but.. I can't, I mean, I can't wait that lon-" Jeff frowned at his own disability at forming coherent sentences.  _Jesus fucking Christ._  "You're messing with my brain, you know that? I'm usually able to talk like a normal person." Nick looked mildly amused, the corner of his mouth twitching. "I think I made it pretty clear what I want and you.. Well, looking back at today's happenings I'd say I have quite the idea of what you want?" He smirked, then looked up self-consciously. That had not been intended to be a question.. "Please explain this to me."

 _Please..?_  Nick sighed and leaned back onto his elbows. "Now we're getting somewhere," he muttered under his breath. "You... are in my head, you make me weak." He stopped and Jeff could almost see his mind working through his eyes. "You.. drive me insane."

"Hm?" Not the explanation Jeff had hoped for. ..or was it?

Nick groaned, impatience tearing at his cool.  _Ha, and what cool exactly?_  "I don't usually do this talking.. thing."

 _Well, no shit, Sherlock._  Jeff barely managed to not roll his eyes at him.

"I could be persuaded, though."

The blond's eyes went wide in incomprehension..  _What? Wait... Oh._ He swiftly sat up onto his knees. One hand reached out and long fingers wrapped around Nick's thigh, "It's okay, that's enough for now." The brunet unfolded his legs and let them fall on either side of Jeff's body. "Please," he whispered then, fingers wandering up to Nick's belt. "Just.. just let me.."

"You are allowed," Nick echoed breathlessly, cheeks burning bright and hot as the sound of his buckle popping open sounded through the blond's room. "You want it?" Jeff nodded, looking up from eagerly working Nick's zipper. The brunet closed a firm hand around Jeff's neck, who in return closed his eyes with a suppressed moan, and pressed his thumb harshly into the underside of the tall boy's chin. "How badly?" Jeff's eyes flew open, wide and begging the look he gave him. His hand left the zipper and covered Nick's on his neck gently, stroking it lightly before he settled there.

"Very," he breathed finally when the brunet's gaze didn't move on from their joined hands.

The rest went by in a haze. Somehow Jeff managed to get Nick's jeans off his strong legs. He found them on the floor hours later, accompanied by the heavy jacket that went sometime between Jeff kissing the inside of the brunet's thighs and Nick pulling Jeff's shirt off his torso with greedy hands. Also somehow, Jeff had managed to climb Nick on the bed, limbs tangled together and lips engaged in a bruising kiss, his jean clad legs rubbing against Nick's bare skin.

The brunet's hands wandered down Jeff's arched back, over his smoothly grinding hips and under the waistband of his jeans and boxer briefs, grabbing a hold of his ass and pulling him closer. With one hand, Jeff managed to unbutton and then wiggle out of the constricting clothes. Finding the jeans more than annoying, Nick helped pushing those down, leaving the blond completely naked against his yet to be fully undressed self. He let out an impatient groan; this was going so fast but at the same time way, way too slowly for his taste. He held Jeff by his hips and lifted him off himself, reversing their positions just after throwing his own boxers off the mattress. He bit down into Jeff's shoulder before he lifted the blond's arms over his head and pinned his wrists with one hand. He moved up, straddling Jeff's chest now and with one squeeze told him to keep his arms just the way they were. Nick's thumb brushed along one fair eyebrow, then down defined cheekbones until he reached swollen lips, red from all their kissing and biting.

Jeff's eyes were wide open, watching every aspect of Nick's face as the brunet pushed past his lips, opening his mouth just a little. Jeff tasted his finger with the tip of his tongue before Nick pushed further and he began to suck him in, groaning at the intrusion. Nick's thumb left his mouth and trailed down his chin; his other hand already steadily stroking himself. He held the tip of his raging hard-on softly against Jeff's lips, gently nudging them open again, and slid his head inside. He hissed and groaned when Jeff licked his slit, then started to suck on his head with hollowed cheeks. Nick's hand found its way into bright hair and he held on tight, slowly thrusting into the tall boy's warm mouth. Jeff was still looking at him, leaning into the touch of his fingers, but also eagerly trying to get as much of Nick onto his tongue as possible, relaxing his throat when Nick's thrusts became harder and less merciful. He shut his eyes when the brunet hit the back of his throat and he choked shortly, causing him to leave his mouth completely. Nick stroked his hair almost affectionately. "You're doing so good, pretty boy, so good." He slid back inside; his hips resuming to their earlier pace. The words left his mouth breathy and hoarse. " _Yes_ ," he moaned, eyes heavy lidded and his own lips parted, "take it, come on, Jeff,  _so good_ , just take it all-.." The blond hummed around him, the vibrations almost too pleasurable to handle.

He pulled out. Amused by Jeff's disapproving frown, he slid lower, kissed him shortly, licking at the precome dribbling down his chin, and reached over to the nightstand, open mouthed kissed finding their way down to the blond's collarbone, making him shiver and moan beneath his touch. "Let me guess.." The words were muffled by skin and his own heavy breathing..

He opened the top drawer, to his surprise finding it merely empty. Puzzled, he frowned as Jeff nodded downwards. Searching the bottom drawer, he revealed a half empty box of condoms and two bottles of lube; one was brand new, the other almost out, with maybe enough for a single player. He snatched the full bottle, a few foil wrappers and with raised eyebrows placed them next to the pillow. Jeff shrugged when he caught his eye, a smug but also shy –  _why shy?-_ grin pulling at the corners of his mouth.

With one fluid motion he flipped them over and straddled Nick's waist.  _Still in a shirt...why?_  Probing fingers pushed under the worn fabric, playing with the dark hairs covering the skin below his navel, before he shoved the unwanted shirt all the way up. Nick lifted his head and arms for the blond to pull him free at last, who unceremoniously flung it somewhere to the other side of the room. Nick reached up and grabbed him by the nape of the neck, pulling him close for a brief kiss, causing Jeff to basically melt into his touch. He whispered against the blond's parted lips, watching out of heavily hooded eyes, "You are not going to top me, just so we're clear.."

Jeff chuckled and leaned back, his hands outlining the muscles on Nick's neck, shoulders, chest.. "Oh, I wouldn't dare.." His mouth followed the path that his hands had been tracing, a trail of open mouthed kisses covering the brunet's chest until Jeff decided to take extra good care of each nipple for a while, sucking and nibbling at them as he fit himself between Nick's legs perfectly. "I want you so bad," he mumbled against the reddened, sensitive skin. "I just want you," his tongue followed the prominent line of Nick's stomach, "So much. Tell me you want me too," he breathed into his navel.  _All of me, tell me you want me, Nick!_

Hastily, Nick flipped them back over, burying his face in Jeff's neck, biting and sucking on abused skin. Jeff thought he might feel dizzy soon when they kept this tumbling and turning thing up much longer.. "I-" Nick began.  _NO!_  his subconscious shouted at him. His voice grew cold and his eyes hard as he pulled away slightly, only letting their mutual erections glide together on top of the blond's stomach, causing the sweetest friction, and answered. "I don't want you.." One hand pulled Jeff's knee against the blond's chest, ran roughly along the back of his thigh and slapped his exposed rear. "Your body, on the other hand.."

Jeff went very still, a moan caught in his throat as his disbelieving eyes searched the other's face. "Liar," he said, voice as cold as Nick's. His left hand cupped Nick's jaw, his thumb brushing lightly over his cheekbone. The brunet tried to jerk away, but Jeff held on tight, not letting him escape the grip. "Take that off," his thumb pressed a little firmer into Nick's cheek.

"I don't think that I can be any more naked than this."

" _Liar_ ," Jeff repeated insistently, his voice rising at Nick's audacity of thinking that he'd fool anyone here. "You know what I mean.  _Lose_  that layer. Or get out." His eyes were cold as stone, searching the brunet's face over and over again. He saw confusion and anger crossing his features, fast contained in a blank expression. But then.. doubt? And there was the mask again.  _Dammit._  Nick moved to sit on his knees, but Jeff tightened his grip, grabbing a handful of dark hair for leverage. "Don't you dare get out now," he threatened slowly.

And then.. resignation..  _Fucking finally!_

He pressed on. "Nick, tell me!"

"I-," Nick sighed heavily and hovered close to Jeff, breathing into his neck. " _Jesus.._  Okay, fine, I was jealous, okay? I was jealous and I.. I marked you the last weeks, I guess? No one should touch you, I didn't even know why!" He was visibly struggling against his instinct of fighting back, jerking free, running. Jeff brushed a soothing palm over his shoulder blades, pulling him closer, then pressing his lips gently against Nick's temple. "You're right, I want you and I'm  _still_ jealous," he huffed annoyed. Annoyed with himself, the world, who knew?  _But hey, look who's finally doing some real explaining.._  "When I saw your well-used  _stash_ ," he waved a hand in the direction of the nightstand, spitting the words in spite. "That I can't own you when I'm not your first.."

"Shh," Jeff's fingers ran down the brunet's sides and then up again, hugging him close. He chuckled lightly. "That was probably the most I've heard you talk in one go."

"Don't.. make fun of me," Nick's voice sounded resigned, small. Man, feelings and shit.. That stuff is exhausting. And there was no way that he'd escape Jeff, he knew that now. A pair of lips found his cheek and worked their way down to his.

"You're already a first for me," Jeff admitted. "In more than one way, if we continue this.." Nick furrowed his brows in confusion, looking deeply into Jeff's brown eyes. "I only ever topped before."

"Oh."

"Yeah,  _oh_." There was that shyness from earlier again. "Okay, enough with the talking."  _On second thought, scratch that.._

Nick's face lit up in excitement and determination; predatory was a very nice look on him, Jeffs mind unhelpfully supplied, as he went in for a filthy kiss, shoving his tongue past the tall boy's lips and licking the roof of his mouth. He had  _almost_  forgotten that they were both bare, so when his hips moved sleekly, he moaned in surprise at the feeling of skin on skin.

"Damn, Jeff," he breathed onto the blond's lips, "I want you so bad right now.."

Jeff was panting himself, his grin distorted when desire hit him like a bat and he groaned into Nick's shoulder. "Now, was that so difficult?" he asked nonetheless, biting into the brunet's flesh as Nick thrust forward. "Nick.. Nick.. come on.. Come on!" he panted. "Give it-" He was silenced by another kiss and a faint click sounding beside his head. Nick had opened the lube. "Geez, _finally_ ," he moaned into his mouth and nibbled on the brunet's bottom lip.

"Jeff," Nick threatened lowly, the hoarse vibe of his voice sounding through the blond's body with immense intensity, bee-lining for everything south and frustratingly long neglected. Jeff whimpered into Nick's skin, his nails digging deep into the curve of his shoulder blades, his voice sounded breathy. " _Please.._ "

Nick tapped on Jeff's thigh, "Turn around." Once on all fours, he worked him open with surprising ease. The blond was squirming beneath his touch, moaning when he brushed over  _that_  one spot, hissing when the stretch was too much. Anyway, Nick didn't waste too much time prepping before he pushed Jeff down on his stomach and situated himself against his entrance. Slowly but steadily, he began to fill him up; inch by inch by inch, deeper and deeper until he bottomed out completely. Jeff was biting his lower lip to hold in the pained noises that were accumulating in the back his throat; not able to suppress a whine when Nick pulled out and pushed back in again. He could hear the brunet panting behind him and caught a glimpse of his blissful frowny face as he looked back over his shoulder just before Nick lowering himself onto Jeff's body; chest hovering over his back, trailing kisses onto the back to his neck, his hips cruelly unmoving..

"Okay?" Nick breathed against his skin. Jeff nodded quickly and moaned when the other rolled his hips; his body no longer hovering, but engulfing Jeff's with its warmth and the comfort of skin on skin contact. Nick had one hand next to their sides, the other on the blond's shoulder; this way keeping his body from being a dead weight. He rolled his hips again, placed a short kiss on Jeff's cheek and then quickened his pace; fucking him into a frenzy. It was the most sensual thing Jeff had ever experienced in his life. He was a moaning mess, groaning even when Nick stretched him to his fullest and hit his prostate in this endless torture that made his knees gave way and his thighs tremble. The friction of his sheets against his leaking cock was almost too much, pushed him to the edge too soon. "Nick," he groaned in praise, in warning, " _Nick!_ "

The sound that left his mouth next was most definitely not a whine, nor a whimper, thank you very much! Nick had pulled out and away from him, leaving him quivering and mourning the loss of contact. He remembered the sound of a faint  _No_  reaching him before he was flipped onto his back and his legs were folded against his chest. Confused and disoriented, he blinked up into the brunet's flushed face; his eyes were dark, determined.

Suddenly, he was full again and he gasped at the intrusion, the harshness of the thrust of Nick's hips, the new angle.. "Oh God, yes, please," he almost cried at the pleasure ripping through him when Nick snapped his hips forward and started to really thrust, pound into him, gripping Jeff's shoulder and waist for leverage. If he thought that he was a mess before, then he had clearly been mistaken. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled his ears as well as his own sharp breaths; no coherent thought crossing his mind but a continuous stream of  _fuck oh fuck fuck jesus fucking christ yes.._

When Nick's hips began to stutter, his own panting breaths and moans drowning the blond's, and he wrapped his fingers around him, Jeff let go and tossed his head into his pillow, his back arching off the mattress as he found his release, white streaks of cum painting his torso and _holy fuck_  Nick's hand.

The brunet's hair was plastered against his forehead, his chest glistening with sweat but he kept on fucking into the blond's clenching hole. A few more thrusts, the bliss on Jeff's face in mind, and he stilled, coming hard and long  _and loud_ ; Jeff's tight warmth milking him when he swayed his hips to ride it out.

He pulled out, letting Jeff's legs straighten around him, and went in for a deep, breathtaking kiss. Shamelessly, he worked his way down along the blond's neck and chest, only stopping when he reached the sticky part of his skin. Jeff glanced down, "I'm clean," he breathed quickly and gasped when Nick went in and licked the cum off his stomach, before hovering again. He threw the condom carelessly aside and fell over Jeff's body to lie by his side, breathing slowly coming down to a normal pace and a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Jeff loosely linked their hands together, his own heart still racing in his chest, because  _Jesus Mary and Joseph!_

They stayed like this for quite some time, neither of them really in the mood to move, to cover up, to  _do_  anything, really.. Maybe (probably, most definitely) Jeff was still in a post orgasmic daze when his brain to mouth filter bit him in the ass by not functioning at all and he blurted the first thing that came to mind when Nick finally sat up and swung his legs off the bed. "Spend the night?"

Nick looked at him like he was crazy. "How about No?"

Jeff yawned and stretched his sore limbs. "Come on, I won't tell anyone if you secretly talk nonsense in your sleep." Then he thought again, seeing Nick scramble through discarded clothing spread widely throughout the room. Pinching his fragile trust? Or his patience? Probably not the way to go... again. "I'll make you breakfast!"

"Jeff, this is not negotiable."

"What if I go down on you one more time? If you have the stamina.." Jeff argued innocently. Well, innocently enough. "Also, morning sex is totally a thing.."

About to turn Jeff down again, Nick stopped, holding his breath and the shirt he'd tried to pull over his head, obviously contemplating; then closed his mouth and threw the shirt aside. He let himself fall back onto the mattress and folded his arms behind his head. "Knock yourself out." And maybe he sighed the words a little too dramatically.

Nevertheless, Jeff rolled on top of him with a sly grin, ignoring how Nick tried to convince him that it was all but a good thing for him to stay; an inconvenience even. "'But don't knock me up?'" he supplied instead as he slid down, tweaking the brunet's nipples playfully before his mouth and mind were occupied otherwise..

_Yeah, something like that.._


	8. Play me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> changed to present tense. felt better this way

The next morning Jeff wakes up with his face pressed into something warm, moving.. He blinks sleepily with one eye and listens. His head is moving on its own, up and down and up and down with what Jeff recognizes as the steady breathing of a warm body underneath his cheek. Nick is lying on his back, arm wrapped around the blond's shoulders, and still fast asleep. Jeff has been misusing his chest as a pillow.. Well, come to think of it, it's actually kind of made to be one. Smacking his lips, he snuggles a little closer and buries his face into the cuddly place of everything warm and good that is essentially Nick's body.

 _Okay, that's probably the out-sexed, still sleepy-mushy brain talking, so better no getting into_ that _weird train of thought.._

The blanket's covering them both, protecting them from the world and the day that was only just starting to dawn outside his window. He sighs when he realizes it's totally  _Saturday.. Best day of the week._  And with that in mind, kind of successfully ignoring his sappy blanket metaphors at 5 in the morning, Jeff is drifting back to sleep.

He awakes a lot later with a tight feeling in his stomach. He stretches his limbs before he settles back at Nick's side and starts to poke at his abs. "Nick?" he whispers. "Hey Nick, are you up?" His eyes drift low to the outline of something that's up, all right. He snickers as Nick yawns and groans in response. Jeff suppresses the urge to say something stupid like... Good morning.

Instead.. "Go- Ehem, I'm hungry, you wanna eat something?" Smooth. '(Heartwarmingly) irritating' isn't actually a character trait he appreciates in himself, although he can't really deny his nerve-stretching persona in the morning.

The answer comes out worn and raspy.. Also delayed. Like, a lot. "Maybe I'll eat you out.."

Who would've guessed this were his first words in the morning? Probably everyone. Jeff's face, anyhow, lights up with a bright blush. "Geez, do you ever hear yourself?" he utters, caught off guard. "Why do I even like you?" Did he mention that his morning persona was also 'talkative'? Yeah, he forgot there for a second too.

"It's my sparkling personality," Nick deadpans as if he's ever had a sense of humor before. That came out of nowhere; and surprisingly on cue this time. "Brings all the ladies to the yard."

Jeff suppresses a laugh and (kind of) covers it with a cough. "Er-Food?"

"Coffee," Nick mumbles and changes position to lie on his side. "Or blow job. Either of those."

This time Jeff can't help the chuckle. "How 'bout both? I'll go make some. Give you some...Something." And off he goes with a huge frown-y question mark on his face.

_Brain mush, making everything 100% more awkward since forever._

As soon as Jeff has stumbled out of his room, Nick rolls from his side halfway onto his stomach and with a groan hides his face in the blond's pillow.  _Of course, you'd be a morning person..._ Said morning person comes back shortly after, sliding in next to the brunet, making the covers rustle. "Sorry, we're out of coffee, it seems. My brother is getting some right now.." His hand brushes over Nick's exposed back, his arm, touching the freckles he'd discovered the previous night.

"Let me sleep, dammit," Nick groans after a while. "How long until..?"

"Probably an hour. He likes to go to this one place just out of town. It's really good, though."

"...Stop touching me."

Surprised but daring, Jeff leans over the other boy's body, his mouth hovering along his neck, just below his ear. "If you really want me to keep still," he purrs lowly, suggestively nipping at Nick's pulse point, "you should make me.." Nick turns his head to look at the blond, catching sight of the very red tint on his cheeks as he pulls away slowly. He raises his brows when Jeff speaks again. "We have time and I have this _thing_ , you know," he points to a tie on his nightstand, "Right here, ready to be utilized."

"I'm not nearly awake enough for your apparent sadomasochism. Maybe after coffee."

Jeff humphs, mumbles something that sounds like that apple pie better be freakin' worth it or something and gets off the bed. He grabs his phone from his jeans and flops back down next to Nick. He buries his face in his chest and groans when he takes a closer look at the display.

3 missed calls.

10 new messages.

Fuck. He openes the first text.

 **From Kurt (8:04pm):**   _Where are you?_

Oh no, oh  _no no no no no no._

 **From Kurt (8:11pm):**   _Jeff. Not funny._

 **From Kurt (8:25pm)** :  _Jeffrey, get your ass over here!_

**One missed call from Kurt (8:27pm).**

**One missed call from Kurt (8:30pm).**

"Fuck!" Jeff hides his face further in Nick's chest. His phone still in hand and beyond frustrated with himself, he punches the brunet's stomach.

"Hey!" Nick's voice sounds less groggy than earlier, but still hoarse. "Cut that out!" He stops Jeff's arm midway and takes the phone from him. After a second, he asks, "Who's Kurt?"

"Kurt?"

"Are you deaf?"

"Well, are  _you_  serious? He's only my best friend and the guy I hang out most with." Jeff makes grabby hands for his phone, then gestures to his hair and outlines the way Kurt usually wears it. "You've seen him, for sure."

"You mean Porcelain?"

Suddenly, Jeff slaps Nick's arm hardly, fixing him with an aggravated stare. "Oh my God, rude!" He hates it when people call his friends names.

Nick rubs the tingling skin of his reddening upper arm, shocked at first before he feels anger boiling inside. "That's what the Coach calls him," he grits out before he goes back to reading the texts.

 **From Kurt (8:31pm):**   _Asshole! I hope you're not dead and only forgot, because that would suck. You were meant to come over and help me with this B mess... Not 'come' some place else_

"He puts cum in inverted commas, who does that? It isn't even spelled right." Nick's still managing to keep the phone from the blond. "He called you an asshole. Twice."

 **From Kurt (9:10pm):**   _Finn's here now. He brought beer – He sucks way less as a friend than certain other ppl_

"Oh wow, he's getting personal now," Nick laughs. "Who's Finn?"

Jeff huffs out a sigh and falls back against the firmness of Nick's chest. "Who died and made you king of nosy?" He feels the brunet's lips pressing into his hair.

"You did, last night." Nick hands him the phone and nips at his ear. "Little death and all."

Jeff turns around and looks at Nick in disbelief, only able to fight the snort that follows for so long. "Oh God, you did not just say that!" His grin splits his face when he settles back down, head resting under his chin and mumbles, "So cheesy, what the hell, dude?" He quickly scans the last messages, his playful mood soon gone and replaced by the bitterness of a guilty conscience.

**From Kurt (9:25pm):** _beer tastes awful. i hate yu_

**From Kurt (10:03pm):**   _Why did he leave m, jeff?_

 **From Kurt (10:04pm):**   _Fuckk, Im calling him now_

Kurt couldn't have phrased Jeff's thoughts any better, " _Fuck!_ I need to call him. Like, yesterday!" Jeff's on his knees immediately and about to hop off the bed when two strong arms circle his waist from behind and drag him back onto the mattress. He ends up halfway on his stomach, propped on his elbows, with Nick's warm body at his back.

"Call him," Nick mouths into Jeff's skin between his shoulder blades. "Do whatever d'fuck you want. I don't-" A faint click sounds through the room. "-mind." Jeff has already speed-dialed Kurt and is gulping now- Yes, there is a warm hand caressing his behind, spreading him and - _Yes, oh Jesus, yes!_  - those are most definitely two slick fingers entering him now. Oh boy. Oh Goddammit!

He makes an halfhearted attempt at swatting Nick's hands away, but soon sighs into the familiar stretch between his legs. " _Shit._ "

Nick presses the whole length of his body against the tall boy, forcing him to spread his legs further apart when his hand wanders along the back of his thigh, up to the hollow of his knee. He nuzzles and tongues at the crook of his neck, grinning viciously at the strangled moan coming from the boy beneath himself. His fingers slip back inside and stretch Jeff's still loosened hole quick and efficiently.

"Jesus fucking- Nick! -Er, Yes, hi," Jeff clears his throat awkwardly. Way awkwardly. Nick doesn't let himself get distracted, only kisses the skin that flares hot and beautiful with the blond's upcoming flush.

"Kurt, so sorry – hnngh..nno, nothing... Fine, I'mmm fine, yes," Jeff gasps his way through the conversation, shoving the phone away and muffling a whine when Nick lines himself up and pushes into him, hard. "No, what? I'm not- Okay.. Call you laterr-" He lets out a throaty groan; shivers run through his whole body while he bends it like a cat. "Hate you, so much, Duval, nngghyes! Like that! Just like that!"


	9. Expose me

"I wish you wouldn't do that," Jeff rasps out, one forearm resting over his eyes while his head is buried deep in his pillow. Nick's mouth lets go of him with a filthy wet pop and he looks up from between the blond's long legs.

"What?"

"No, not  _that_ ," Jeff waves one hand in the direction of his crotch and where he believes Nick's face might be located. He's right and hits the brunet in the chin. "Huh, sorry," he says, shortly followed by a hissed gasp when in return, Nick grabs his fingers tightly and licks a long strip from root to tip, parts his lips and sucks on them instead... Instead of sucking, you know, Jeff. Nonetheless, he moans and sways his hips wantonly.  _Maybe_  not really the time to talk about this..

_Impulse control, Jeff. Learn it._

So he croaks out a rushed " _Never mind"_  and blinks one eye open, apologetic and desperate to have  _that_  friction back in his fucking life. Because, well, he wants that. Very much, thank you.

In lieu of diving right back in, Nick guides Jeff's slippery fingers between his legs and inside his ass. "Then you do it," his voice is soft like velvet, though dark and playful as he moves to get Jeff's other hand down. He licks the other's trembling palm and with his own hand over Jeff's, he begins to stroke the blond slow and teasingly.

 _Fuck.._  Nick licks his lips, seeing Jeff work himself under his guidance shouldn't be this  _good_... But yeah. Can't argue with the hot shivers that shoot down his own spine or the tight ache in the pit of his stomach or the leaking... His thoughts get disrupted when Jeff starts talking again.

"Oh shit, oh shit," Jeff squirms beneath Nick's grip, "Shit,  _Nick_ ," he thrashes his head around and arches his back. He cums with a whine and paints his contracting muscles, their hands and arms with long milky streaks. Nick groans at the sight and leans in, lapping at Jeff's sensitive head, cleaning him off. " _Fuck_ ," the blond pants out, following the brunet's tongue with heavy-lidded eyes. He untangles his fingers from the other teen's hold and cups his face softly, stroking his cheek with his thumb. "Come up here."

Gently, he tugs Nick up and immediately curls into his side, pressing his lips once into his skin, catching his breath. After a while, he pecks Nick again. "I'll shower as soon as my legs work, just FYI. Logan will be back, sooner rather than later," he yawns out. Nick hmms in response. "You too?" Jeff asks. "But no-" he cups Nick and gives him a meaningful squeeze, a small  _Oh_  escaping his lips as soon as he feels the pre-cum and that the brunet is still half hard. Once again, he gets no real answer, if you don't count the little displeased noises that (probably involuntarily) leave Nick's throat. Jeff props himself up on his elbow and fixes him with a pointed glare. "You fucked me raw, you're spent and still.." He squeezes again. "What more could you want?" He's grinning now. Post-orgasmic endorphins are awesome.

Nick rolls his eyes and gets up. From the corner of his eye, Jeff catches a smirk playing on Nick's sour face as he turns away and grumbles, "Let's go then."

The shower goes... well, all things considered. Nick is uncharacteristically affectionate. Okay, not  _that_  uncharacteristically; he has been gentle before. It's just that this side still surprises Jeff and takes him off guard. Before they even get to the whole purpose of showering, the blond decides to give in and jerks him off slowly, trading kisses for soft caresses and as much skin on skin contact as he can get. Nick climaxes with his head resting on Jeff's shoulder and goes weak in his knees, with the blond holding him up. Afterward, he lets Nick wash him, lather him up and all that shebang, but as soon as he tries to return the favor, the brunet takes the shower gel away and gives himself a quick scrub. Jeff doesn't pout. No, he doesn't. Much.

Back in his room, Jeff shivers in the crisp morning air flying in through the open window. He had opened it before they left for the bathroom, because frankly, the room smelled like hours of filthy sex and sleepy bodies tangled between comfy sheets. Goosebumps cover his arms and legs, spreading fast across his chest and back as he runs to his closet and pulls out some random flannel pants and zip up hoodie. The zipper lingers icily against his damp skin and he hisses and curses lowly. In the background, Nick is wandering criss cross around the room, collecting his clothes and pulling them on as he goes. Not really in the mood for his contacts, Jeff puts his glasses on and quickly hand-combs his fringe to the side while he starts to discard all the evidence of the night (and day) they'd had until now. He bends over his bed to get a hold of a single silver wrapper lying abandoned on the other side and finds Nick staring at him when he turns back around.

"Huh," the brunet says, eloquent as ever.

"What?" Jeff pushes his glasses up his nose.

Nick grins from ear to ear. "Nice ass."

"Like you hadn't noticed that before," the blond rolls his eyes, then checks the sheets. They'll do another night. He scratches the back of his head; the hoodie rides up his stomach as he looks for anything else out of place when the catches Nick gaze on him again. "What now?"

"Nice abs," Nick deadpans.

"What is this? Some weird afterglow where you compliment me against your better judgment?" One of his hands wanders to the top of his pajama bottoms and teasingly pulls the waist band a little lower, revealing the sharp cut of his pelvis. With both eyebrows raised in challenge, he follows every move of the brunet's eyes.

"Nice glasses," said boy smirks in response, steps a bit closer and brushes a finger down the hairs below Jeff's navel.

Jeff, who blushes instantly, lets go of his pants and murmurs, "You think? They make me look so.." He waves a hand around, not actually offering what in his opinion they make him look like.

"Cute?" Nick asks before he can stop himself, and winces at his own words. Hastily, he turns around and misses the shit-eating grin that infests Jeff's face and is some serious competition for the sun.. Instead, Nick picks his keys from the floor where they must have fallen out of his pockets sometime during the previous night. They cling as they collide, the one for his car against the one for the house against the one for the locker at the train station and so on. "I'll take that coffee and then I'm out, okay?"  _Dammit, Duval._  He clears his throat. "I mean, then I'm out." Full stop. Well done.

Jeff answers with a soft "Okay" and tumbles behind Nick towards the stairs. He takes his free hand in his and is surprised when he isn't shoved away or, God forbid, being insulted. The only reaction that he gets, actually, is a resigned sigh as they move into the kitchen.

Not even five minutes pass by after they sit down at the kitchen table, Jeff's fingers nervously fumbling and fidgeting inside Nick's hold the entire time, when a tall boy opens the front door and, seemingly mid-chat, laughs his way inside. He looks a lot like Jeff, though his hair is of a light brown or maybe a dark blond color, and he's maybe a few years older. Following shortly behind is an elderly woman, gardening gloves in hand. Her short hair is dark with a few gray streaks, and Nick begins to wonder if Jeff dyes his hair.

Logan and Mrs. Sterling, as the brunet assumes, stop inside the door and eye the newbie. "Huh," Logan ponders out loud, watching the boys' hands separate quickly, "That's a first." Annoyed at his brother's pretend surprise, Jeff pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs.  _You knew he was here_ , he wants to scream, but leaves that to his inner voice and takes a deep breath instead, trying oh so hard not to encourage his family in their little jokes. Especially not the running gag that is his life – more precise: his "love" life.

Okay, sex life. Whatever.

Nick watches Mrs. Sterling grin and nudge her eldest son in the side. "They never stay for breakfast," she laughs. "Welcome dear." She puts her gloves aside and takes the tray of coffee from Logan's hands. As she sits, she extends her own to shake Nick's hand, who, after glaring at the blond beside him, takes it with a stunned expression. "I'm Jeff's mother. Ms. Sterling to you."  _Huh_ , the brunet thinks,  _not a Mrs?_  He looks around shortly.  _This is a big house for a single mom.. Am I being sexist?_ He shakes his head shortly.

"Nick," the answer comes out by default as he accepts the coffee she hands him, mumbling a short "Thanks" before he bites into a bear claw from the bag Logan has just dropped onto the table.

"I take it you made a man out of our little Jeffie here," Ms. Sterling sneers in between short little sips of her own coffee. "And now you want to ask me for his hand in marriage?" Next to himself, Nick hears Jeff choke on his doughnut. "Don't you think that's a little late, now that you preponed the one and only bridal night?"

Jeff blinks away a few tears when he finally catches his breath again. "Mom!" he coughs out.

"Shush sweetie, I'm talking to your future Mrs." The sly smile is still playing cruelly along her lips. "Future Mr, pardon me."

"Yes, little Nick," Logan laughs. "Did you pop my brother's cherry?" Ms. Sterling is laughing too.

"Logan!" Jeff hisses. He looks so lost and helpless when Nick glances over. And not the good kind. Not at all.

"Sorry, I forgot," Logan bites into a doughnut of his own, leaning against the counter as if he was talking about the weather, "My little brother is a little slut. Always eager to put out to a random trick, aren't you, Jeffie?" He pointedly ignores Nick and his scrunched up face. It probably wouldn't even matter if he wasn't there..

"Logan," Ms. Sterling puts her coffee aside. "Enough now."

What the hell is going on here, exactly? "I better go," Nick stands, releasing the tight grip on his cup, and the next instant, flees the kitchen. He's out and by his jeep before Jeff can even reach the front door and call after him.

"Come on, Nick, they're only joking!"  _Don't leave me.._  He jogs over and leans into the open window on the driver's side. "Sadistic jokes, but jokes." His breathing is still a little uneven when he sees something new in the brunet's eyes.  _Panic_ , he thinks.  _And anger?_  That's not new, though. "Come o-"

"Leave it," Nick spits out. Then a little softer, he pushes Jeff's fingers off the rim of his window. "I'm not here to let myself and you get insulted. And.. I don't handle this kind of pressure very well," he adds. And then there is the anger again, brighter than before, hitting Jeff right in the gut with its sudden harshness, with which it hardens Nick's expression back to his usual mask, more impenetrable than ever.

The brunet reaches over to his glove compartment and fishes for a pack of cigarettes. He flicks one into his mouth and lights it behind his palm. Puffing out a long breath of smoke, he starts the car. "See you at school," he grits out between clenched lips and drives off the side walk, leaving Jeff shivering in the dust.

*

Monday morning. Jeff is pissed, to say the least. Okay, make that furious. So furious that the feeling overwhelms everything else in his mind. He has tried texting and calling a certain broody up-to-no-good all of Saturday and Sunday, only to end up on Kurt's couch, frustrated and crying.  _Crying_ , of all things! He hates it. Hates himself, his family, hates Nick..

Fine, he doesn't hate Nick.

He doesn't. He would run too, if he could. Although he'd run towards Nick, whereas Nick is running away from him..

Now he really wants to hate him. So badly! But it only makes him angrier, more frustrated, and gets the tears flowing.

It's pathetic.

He and Kurt can be pathetic together, though. His best friend's been crying as well, over the same shit too.  _Boys._  Tiny brunet boys with shitty attitudes, to be exact. Jeff wants to punch something, preferably a brick wall or his own face, maybe. Fucking hell..

So, yeah.. Monday schmonday. Doesn't change Jeff's mood at all, unfortunately. Even when he sees Nick by the bikes, smoking like nothing's happened. What struck him, though, was that the brunet wasn't dealing and hadn't been for the last few weeks now. That incident the other day must've made an impact after all. Well, it's something, right? Although Jeff doesn't have the audacity to try and link this back to himself. No way he's made that happen.

What he made happen was Nick ignoring him. Completely. Back to the roots, so to speak, and it annoys the hell out of Jeff. He shouldn't even care this much, he never has about any of his hookups. But then he's known from the beginning that Nick was something else, that  _this_  was something else, hasn't he? So why is he so surprised that it tears at his heart with such a force? Nick doesn't take notice of him all day, not even a single glance – it infuriates the blond. Okay, we've established that now, but Jeff's thoughts solely revolve around this one ache that destroys him from within..

 _Way to be dramatic._  He grimaces at his own despicableness. Love fucking sucks!

It's the last break for the day and, with Kurt by his side, he is standing outside under the projecting roof, either watching the gray clouds flying above their heads or his own breath transforming into fog before his eyes, when he catches sight of a certain leather jacket on the other side of the yard and decides to fucking do something. Anything.

He says as much and pushes himself off the wall, leaving a puzzled Kurt behind. "Jeff?" he calls after his best friend before turning back to his magazine, all out of patience and the ability to care for the rest of the year.

The first rain drops fall in long streaks from the darkened sky and leave the ground polka dotted. One drop hits Jeff in the back of the neck and he shivers as he reaches his destination: a group of chatting cheerleaders. Among them one Brittany S. Pierce, former acquaintance in the biblical sense, as a matter of fact.

"Hey Brit," he greets her, then nods towards the Latin girl glued to her side. "Santana."

"Hi Jeff," Brittany beams and goes in for a hug. "Did you eat candy today?" she asks when she pulls away.

Instead of answering, he ignores her question, "You free right now?"

She looks at him, then at her feet, then around the school yard. "I'm not in prison," she concludes and smiles, obviously content with herself.

"Great," the blond hurries, the rain getting stronger by the minute, and further ignores certain Latina bitch glares that hit him from the side. Better cut straight to the chase. "Wanna make out?"

"Sure," Brittany shrugs and then they are already kissing. That was easy..

Jeff holds Brit by the back of her head, lifting her slightly to her tippytoes, and quickly deepens the kiss while the rain starts to plaster his hair to his face. From the corner of his eye, he sees the other cheerleaders retreat underneath the shielding roof and chat as if nothing's happening at all. Business as usual. He can do that.

After a while, he breaks the kiss for air. "You taste sweet," Brit tells him with concerned eyes, "like sugary sadness." She kisses him again, but he's not really into it anymore. Plan's stupid anyway. "What's wrong? Is it your gang friend?" she asks then.

Sometimes he doesn't know why people call her dumb. She can be quite perceptive.

He sighs, says "Sorry Brit" and walks away without another word, back to Kurt. However, before he can make it anywhere near his best friend, a hand on his shoulder yanks him to a halt...

All day Nick has been standing in the corner, so to speak. Also quite literally, corner of the school yard, that is. Creepily watching the other students for the last half hour..

He wasn't cut out for this shit, he'd decided sometime between the last of Jeff's calls and a night of jacking off at the thought of a tall body winding beneath his touch. He will not get involved! And as much as it pains him to admit that he kind of likes Jeff, it's still true, but emotions are not really his field of expertise. And that family of is a whole nother world of crazy. That asshole of a brother almost had Nick lash out, _badly_ , in front of an adult! It had taken all of his will power to leave and not punch his face in.. to not lose control like that. He can't risk it.

And now.. Now he's here, brooding and fuming at the sight of Jeff touching that one blonde girl. Kissing her like he'd kissed him.

 _Slut_ , he thinks. The word rings through his head, stuck there from the other day, and the hate behind it makes him wince when he remembers that Jeff's own brother had said it. And meant it. Even if Jeff soft-sells it as a joke... He can't understand why the blond is doing this. He said he liked Nick. The brunet snarls in fury when he finally sees daylight.. He has been played! Used? How the hell had that happened? This will not happen again, he repeats like a mantra.

However... Nick doesn't even know how he made it across the yard without a single conscious step, but there he is, grabbing Jeff by his jacket. "What the hell was that?" he hears his own voice, doesn't know where it is coming from.

He grabs him again, and shoves him.

Jeff blinks against the pouring rain that is dripping down his face and from one second to the next his anger is returned, pulsing through him like hot lava, reviving his weary body, and he's shoving back with full force. "D'fuck, Duval?" Blind with pain and disappointment and loneliness, he takes a swing at Nick, but the brunet dodges, pushes him again.

"What do you think you're doing?" Nick shouts at him. "Prove your brother right?"

"Oh, you didn't!" When Jeff goes in for another swing, Nick hits him instead. "Dammit Nick, you said it wasn't some one time thing, but you ran, first chance!"

"We did it at least three times," Nick smirks, his eyes cold. That vanishes though when Jeff slaps him hard across the face.

"Don't get smart with me, asshole! You know exactly what I mean!"

Nick is clenching his fists. He does know, but he can't. He just can't. So instead of admitting, confessing, letting fucking loose and being the man he really isn't, he pushes the blond away again. "I'm not looking for a boyfriend, Jeff!"

Not helping, if the way Jeff's eyes widen is anything to go by. He yells, "Well, I wasn't looking for a fuck! You like me, I know you do!"

"I only said that for to give it up," and right there, Nick earned himself another slap.

"Bullshit," Jeff calls, almost tearing some of his hair out. "You're so full of shit, Duval!" He lets out an exasperated groan and turns, not seeing how Nick's face is reddened and the veins are throbbing at his neck. "Fine, fuck you too."

He takes one step, then he's stopped, turned by his shoulder and a fist connects with his jaw, sending the blond to the ground, not without grabbing Nick by his dumb leather jacket though and taking him down too. They roll around in the mud, snarling and cursing, the cold engulfing their fighting bodies through drenched clothes. When Nick wraps a hand around Jeff's neck, he lets out a frustrated whine. Blood drips from Jeff's lip; he's ready to scratch Nick's eyes out, tears at his hair until it's sticking up wildly. Then suddenly, the brunet is harshly pulled away and for the first time in these last moments, Jeff's aware of his surroundings. Faintly, he recognizes Mr. Schue breaking them apart, yelling, and then dragging them up and to the Principal's office, and he spits bloody saliva out into the mud.

Both an image of pain and disgust, they sit outside and wait while Mr. Schue talks and gestures at Principal Figgins. Jeff has his arms tightly folded and his chin held high, not deigning to look at the other as he sniffles slightly through his blood clogged nose. Nick, on the other hand, openly glares at him when, all of a sudden, he blurts, "You look.." He pauses and wants to face palm so hard right then.  _Ugh, fuck it!_  "..so hot right now."

Jeff looks over, shocked, and before he can stop himself, he whispers, " _Fuck_ ," and launches himself at Nick. "Asshole," he gasps between biting his way into the brunet's eager mouth, "God, I fucking hate you so much!" His hands find their way into Nick's wet locks and he pulls again, but it's different from before. Because of course it is.


	10. Try me

It is still raining cats and dogs the next day at school, hundreds of students are dragging mud and water through the halls of McKinley High. Among them, Jeff with his books and notes pressed tightly against his chest, sporting a bruise along his jaw, and Kurt, having a miniature umbrella dangling from one of his belt loops. Just in case. Whatever case, Jeff has no idea, but everything Kurt does is just in case, half the time. The other would be to make a statement, but who is keeping tracks?

They walk and talk like they usually do. Kurt is barely paying attention to Jeff, also as usual. Not that the blond minds that much; he knows Kurt is simply out of fucks to give and he gets the attention he craves from someone else now. At Kurt's locker they stop and while his best friend checks his hair and shortly gets distracted by Rachel-I am better than all of you- Berry, Jeff strays a few seemingly random steps, as if bored by the whole day he's been having. After some time and without anyone noticing, he puts a crumbled piece of paper through the slits of a locker not far from Kurt's.

As Rachel skips away, Jeff joins his best friend once again, squinting at the florescent light that has been giving him a headache all day. Kurt narrows his eyes at him and leans over, actually giving him a proper once over for the first time that morning. "What is that?" He cups Jeff's jaw and tilts his head into the light, making him wince at its unwelcome brightness. A fresh cut stains the blond's lower lip an angry red. "That wasn't there yesterday afternoon!" Kurt asks then, gingerly touching the cut once and searching the blond's face for any other new injuries. "Don't think I can't distinguish between the ones from school and  _this_ ," he adds when he recognizes Jeff's stunned expression, like a little boy who's been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.. again.

"No! I mean-," Jeff hastily replies. He really wishes Kurt would stop noticing the embarrassing stuff. "No, it's not that. He-"

"He? You mean Duval?" Kurt tightens his grip. "Did he hit you? Did he hit you  _again_?"

**..The previous day..**

"Hate you.. I hate you so much.." Jeff is murmuring into Nick's skin as he is biting and sucking and licking his way from his collarbone to his jaw and down again. "We need to get out of here," he breathes upon the reddened skin of Nick's neck.

The brunet pushes him off softly, grabs his hand and gets up. "Come on!" and he yanks Jeff behind himself as they make their escape from the Principal's foyer, somehow going undiscovered by Mr. Shue and Figgings still arguing on the other side of the glass wall. He leads them to the nearest bathroom and presses Jeff into the cold tiles. His hands find their way beneath Jeff's shirt and grab his hips, then move to the small of his back and in between his shoulder blades to hold him closer. Nick is brushing his thumb against hot skin in circular motions. Jeff hums softly as he throws his arms around the brunet's shoulders and connects their lips once more. He deepens the kiss quickly, moves desperately against Nick's mouth, hungry and devouring and without any grace at all. His hips rub along Nick's body unashamedly; just as unashamedly as the moans are that they trade between their hot, wet mouths.

Nick changes position slightly, only to start fumbling with Jeff's belt until he finally gets it and then his jeans open. His hand disappears underneath the unwanted fabric, but he has no patience nor does he care to undress Jeff completely. Instead, he pulls him free and, hand slicked with pre-cum, pumps his cock without hesitation, hard and fast just like their kisses had been. Jeff is panting into his mouth, sweat covering his brows, his hair in a mess, and Nick has to look down, has to see what he is doing to the blond. He groans at the sight of Jeff's flushed cock, and when he feels his fingers dig into Nick's muddy jacket, he thumbs along the slit and under the head before he increases his speed once again, finishing him off.

When Nick spits onto his cock to ease the burn, it has Jeff crashing so fast that his body gives way when he spurts hotly into the brunet's hand and has to cling to him for leverage. Nick tilts his head up and kisses Jeff deeply, frantically and then there is a sharp pain and Jeff can taste blood in his mouth. Again. He sinks against the wall, his eyes wide in shock and one hand hovering over his split lip. He had bled before, but that had been a nose bleed from Nick's punches.

The brunet eyes the wound where he had just sunken his teeth in passion. He leans over to lick the blood away. He peppers it with soft kisses, murmuring apologies against the sensitive skin as he simultaneously tucks Jeff back into his pants.

Before Jeff can even decide whether this was possibly the hottest or the insanest thing he's ever done, they are interrupted by a loud hammering against the closed door. "Nick! Jeff! Are you in here?" Their absence hasn't gone unnoticed then; Mr. Shue has been looking for them. Eventually, they leave the bathroom, only to get dragged back into Figgins' office and be lectured about violence at school. They get away with a verbal warning, though.

"Come over tonight?" Nick whispers into Jeff's neck once they are out in the parking lot and saying their Goodbyes. The blond doesn't answer. Not with words anyway.

*

"Jesus, Kurt! No," Jeff interrupts his best friend as he shakes himself free. Trying and failing at not looking too smug, he ignores Kurt's concerned, searching gaze and his arm that still hovered near his body. At the last moment he stops himself from biting his lip in embarrassment as his cheeks turn a warm rosy color. "He.. He bit me." Jeff scratches the back of his neck, head held low, then looks at Kurt through his lashes. "You know, when.."

"Oh God!" Kurt snaps his arm back as if he'd been burned. "Okay, I'mma stop you right there. I don't need to hear any of that!" He pushes his locker door shut with a loud bang and starts for their next class. "Actually," he says as soon as Jeff has caught up with him, "I simply don't want to, but well.. Semantics."

Jeff laughs loudly, then winces when the stretch of his mouth tears at the fresh wound.  _Ow._ He has nibbled at it before, savoring the metallic taste of his own blood and the memory of Nick's hungry eyes when he'd seen that he'd been too harsh. The high Jeff has felt through the brunet's possessiveness had kind of blown his mind, and as a result he had been ready to fall to his knees right then, even with his vision reduced to a bright flash behind heavy eyelids. And Kurt has no idea, he thinks kind of embarrassed, no idea at all.

**..The previous day..**

It's way past his curfew, if he'd have one, when Jeff finds himself staring at a foreign ceiling, his lower body tangled in the sheets of a bed, with his head near the headboard of Nick's bed, mind you. He's never even seen Nick's house before this night, let alone his room. Speaking of which.. It's kind of glowing. There are these Christmas lights wrapped around lilac curtains, everything is sort of purple and light in general. When he'd asked, Nick had told him that this was supposed to be his sister's room. He didn't elaborate. Instead, he had put on a pair of sweats and lit a joint.

And here they are, half naked outstretched across the bed, watching the ceiling. Jeff's hands are on his belly and in dark flattened hair that sprawls out into his side. After offering Jeff the first drag, Nick takes the spliff and takes a few of his own, leaving the room in smoke and utter silence. Then he blurts, coughing lightly, "This is fucked up." He inhales noisily, then, "I don't do this."

From his position on the bed, Jeff chuckles and lets one hand wander from the brunet's hair to his mouth."I'm sensing déjà vu," he says and takes the joint from Nick's lips. "We already had this talk.. I think."

"I know, I know." Nick muses and crosses his arms over his chest as well as he can without falling from the mattress. "Don't get your panties in a twist."

"Asshole," Jeff chimes, spliff between clenched lips, and scratches at a patch of disgustingly dried fluid. He makes a face at it.

"So eloquent," Nick teases, eyeing the patch himself before he leans up and takes the joint back.

"Says Mr. I don't know communication... -pants," the blond giggles, discomfort almost forgotten. He really is oh so eloquent, isn't he?

"Oh, fuck you too, Sterling." He inhales deeply and sinks down again, not before shoving the half smoked joint back into Jeff's mouth to shut him up. His head is buzzing lightly as the room slowly becomes a blur of colors.

It takes a few minutes before they start talking again. Jeff is blowing smoke circles into the air when he turns the joint in his hand and gazes upon the glimmering end. "I don't mind you being cheap or whatever, but at least buy some better shit." He takes another drag. "Your dealer sucks," he teases, "this here, this tastes like ass."

Nick snorts, "You would know," and earns himself a slap on the arm.

Not that Jeff had put any heat into it, though. He offers Nick the last inch, who snags it easily from his hand. His voice sounds distant, the tone one of surprise when he speaks up a little while after. "Oh wow," the brunet looks up from where he's just used the makeshift ashtray. "I'm so hungry right now, we should get.. tacos."

"With bacon and like, tuna.."

"Totally."

"Or brownies.."

"Dude! Totally!"

Nick has his arms in the air now, his fingers tracing invisible patterns against the off-white ceiling. "Tacos.." he begins, "Tacos are like," he glances over at Jeff and loses his train of thought. "Your hair looks funny," he finally concludes. From afar, he fake-pets Jeff's head with something that others might mistake for affection gleaming in his eyes. "If the sun was hair, no wait, you'd be the sun- 'cause you're hot and..," he looks confused and fascinated at the same time, then he grins and flops back down. "Sunny hair!"

"Oh wow, yeah. Brilliant, dude, totally."

"I'm thinking tacos."

"You know," Jeff begins, scratching his belly again. And again, he looks confused and disgusted at the flaky patch. "Thinking, you know- Thinking is like reading your own mind."

"Okay, God, you're like," Nick ponders, "a genius." He is still grinning. "A sunny genius! A senius, a senior? Senõr.. Do you want tacos?"

"We should hook up sometime."

"How about a mustach-? Oh, I know, right? Awesome.."

Jeff giggles, "But you're so tiny!"

Nick lifts the waistband of his sweatpants. "Really?"

Jeff rolls over, takes a look under the fabric and shrugs. "Huh, maybe not."

"Dude, why are you looking at my junk?"

Jeff shrugs again. "I thought we were hooking up?"

"Oh yeah, right. I can't, though." The elastic band snaps loudly against the brunet's skin. "Don't tell anyone, but it's dangerous. To be with me."

"I'm a risky kind of guy," Jeff winks. His eyes leave Nick's face, gazing longingly upon the bare skin of his shoulders and arms. "You look strong," he hums, pleased with the sight in front of him and his face lights up suddenly. "You should fight me sometime! And, you know, hook up sometime. Combined."

"Oh wow, dude, you're bleeding.." Bright red spots next to almost black scrapes are spread across the blond's creamy skin. Nick's gaze lingers on them and he remembers, a satisfied smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth. "I fucked you hard."

"You did? Yes, okay. So next time then; I'd better write that down," and with that Jeff squirms out from underneath the sheets and waddles towards the desk, he and his birthday suit illuminated by the golden Christmas lights. He grabs the nearest pen and a piece of paper and starts writing while Nick seems to have reentered his own little world. He mumbles dreamily to himself. "I can't put you in danger, can't let myself be weak. She wasn't supposed to-  _Huh_ ," he stops and sighs. "There's this guy I care about- Jeff. What kind of name is Jeff? He can't be like.." he trails off.

The whole time Jeff has been writing in between little sways when the floor had attempted to give way. Okay,  _maybe_  his legs had given way and not the floor, so what? He stuffs the paper into the back of his jeans lying next to his feet. Having waddled back to the bed, he straddles a zoned-out looking Nick and kisses him deeply, his hands touching as much skin as possible, before he declares, "I'm hungry!"

The next morning at home, Jeff hadn't really been in the right mind to remember much. That joint had been some fucked up shit, for sure. He just knows that Nick didn't seem to realize that Jeff was by his side half the time, or even recognize him. Also, Mexican food had been a thing, devoured almost religiously until Jeff'd called Logan to pick him up. At about 2 am on a school night. Logan isn't going to tell their mom, but he'll never let Jeff live this down. Ever. About that he is positive.

*

With a sigh the blond turns away from Kurt and takes one final look at the paper he's about to shove into Nick's locker - better spend his time well while his best friend is still distracted! Nothing has changed much since he'd woken up this morning, although he does remember maybe half the happenings because he'd found that same piece of paper in his jeans. Seeing his own intoxicated thoughts written down is kind of surreal, he decides. When he hadn't been too distracted, he must have simply copied what Nick had said.

With a red pen he adds some text to the back before he folds it up to chuck it in.

When Nick opens his locker before PE, he finds the letter lying on his bag and frowns. He opens it and reads Jeff's list; everything is slowly coming back to him. Then he turns it, only to find even more beneath a scribble of the sun.

_I don't care whatever danger you were talking about, but I care about you too. We should talk. -J_

_..._

**..Weeks later..**

It is midday of the New Year. Hot breaths huff across sweat-slick skin in an otherwise dead-silent room, dark eyes gaze into each other, stupid grins twist shiny faces into grimaces. Wet lips taste the air. A labored voice is heard, words stumbling out between shaky inhales. "How do you find the taste of your defeat?"

Lips taste the air again, but go on to rather have hot skin instead. " _Bittersweet._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this wasn't too confusing.. I absolutely confused myself while writing this, though :D continuity? what's that?
> 
> Only 3 more chapters to go.. Sorry I cut the smut, that'll come separately in the next chapter ;)
> 
> xoxo


	11. Ruin me

Weeks later, New Years Day.

"You did not, I repeat  _not_ , seriously quote Miss Congeniality!  _Naked?_ "

"Why not? It was fit-..ting.. Huh."

"And did you, by any chance, say anything else? I mean," Kurt ponders from his seat on his bed, "From what you've told me this was kinda a big deal, right?"

Jeff rolls his eyes. "What was I supposed to say? 'Thank you, for letting me fuck you in the ass?'"

"Ohmygod, did you hear that in a porno?" Kurt slaps Jeff's arm in mock-horror. "...So not appropriate!"

The blond hops off the bed and swirls around, wiggling his eyebrows at his friend. "What if I told you that I did?" He laughs and flees the room, yelling "Later!" over his shoulder.

With a sigh, Kurt sinks back into his mattress, wondering how this has become his life and muttering to himself. "Perverts.. All of 'em.."

*

The night in question.

"This is already round two, how can you still be so fucking full of energy?"

"I'm not fucking full, I'm full of fucking energy.. Get it? Energy for-" Jeff grins stupidly, a flush spreading over his sweat slick chest. He looks at Nick expectantly, but the brunet just seems unimpressed. "Okay, okay, I admit that was kinda lame."

" _You think?_ "

"Maybe you're just not doing it for me anymore..."

"Oh wow, I don't think so." With rough hands, Nick turns the blond over, then almost growls,"I'll show you not doing it anymore," his voice is hoarse but playful. However, before he can even think about pushing into Jeff again, he loses his grip on the blond's shoulder, who simply rolls further to the side until he's on his back again, shit eating grin shamelessly splitting his face in half. He holds one finger in the air.

"Uh-uh, big boy."

"What? Oh, you gotta be kidding me.."

"Not in the slightest, sweetheart. I'll give you the chance to prove me wrong, all right, but you'll have to fight me for it."

"Jesus, you can't let that one go, can you?" He runs a hand through his already disheveled dark locks. "Kinky motherfucker.."

With his grin still in place, Jeff decides to ignore that, "You know you can't resist my charms," and then starts singsonging instead. " _You think I'm gorgeous, you want to kiss me.._ " He's waving his hands in the air, pointing between Nick and himself for emphasis. " _You want to hug me.. You want to love me..You want to smooch..._ " He's swaying his hips and runs his hands all over his body; he only stops humming when Nick smacks his face once with a pillow.

Jeff laughs and hugs Nick around the neck, pulling him close. Softly, he hears Nick's muffled chuckling below his ear. "Of course, you are a Sandra Bullock fan," the brunet sighs and leans down to nibble softly on Jeff's collarbone while he slowly frees himself from his embrace.

"So, you up for it?" Jeff sounds breathless, pushing his chest out for Nick to put his mouth on. He hisses when the brunet teases one of his nipples with his teeth. "Babe, you know how I much I love you-" he hisses again, "-in charge, but let me have some fun every once in a while.." He has one hand in Nick's hair and scrapes his blunt nails over his scalp. "-Show you, who the real  _nngghh..bottom_  is in this relationship.."

Nick bites one last time into Jeff already marked skin before he leans out of the blond's space. "Oh, you wish, Sterling!" And with that he launches forward again, but is taken off guard when the blond uses his momentum to cleverly flip them over. They tumble off the bed rather gracelessly and Nick grunts when his back hits the floor. "Motherfu-" He knees Jeff in the side and when the blond hisses in pain he pushes him off. He tries to straddle him, hands holding on to his shoulders to pin him on his back. Jeff, though, is having none of that and with a devilish glint in his eyes he reaches up, twists both of Nick's nipples hard and as soon as the brunet is hunched forward, gasping, he punches him in the jaw.

Nick is seeing red; he will not be dominated, overpowered like this. He's just not having it! He will be the one protecting-  _wait, what? No, the one taking.._  Caught up in his own train of thought, Nick doesn't even realize that Jeff has put his hands on his throat and is rocking back and forth until the brunet lies flat on his back, a stunned expression on his face. His dark hair contrasts sharply against the cream carpet and falls flat against his forehead, the air leaving his lungs in an audible huff. Jeff is hovering over him, knees on either side of his waist and he holds him down with one hand, the other securing Nick's right wrist on the floor.

As if awaken from his stupor, Nick begins to struggle. He's wiggling beneath Jeff's weight, using his free hand to shove at the blond's thighs. Jeff is grinning. "Gotcha," he whispers and leans down to kiss the brunet's parted lips. There is a sudden bang somewhere outside of the house and Jeff sits up, his head snapping to attention in the direction of the window.  _Must be almost Midnight..._  Within an instant he finds himself on his ass, having been shoved off by a panting brunet who is now struggling to his feet. Oh, and he's laughing.  _Asshole._

_But not for long, my friend..._

Jeff is up as quick as lighting and throws himself at Nick, causing them both to crash onto the bed. He takes hold of the back of Nick's neck and pressed his face into the mattress whilst twisting one of his arms behind his back and holding it there. He's bending him over, putting all of his weight to secure his prey for good this time. The blood is rushing in his ears; he can almost feel the adrenaline sizzling and pumping underneath his skin as his heart is jumping in anticipation and excitement. "Yeah, that's right," he is panting heavily into Nick's ear, his hot breath hitting the brunet's neck covered in tiny pearls of perspiration, making him shiver and flush deliciously. "I guess you're my bitch now, huh?" The hand on his neck wanders down his side and he looks around. "Stay," he commands. He leaves Nick bent over to quickly grab the lube from the bedside table. When he resumes his position, he is already slicked up and roughly probes at Nick's entrance, stretching just as much as he must.

He places an apologetic kiss just in between the brunet's shoulder blades and receives a small nod of permission in return. He continues to kiss that same spot sloppily, parted lips soothing over reddened skin as he guides himself inside, pushes in all at once and stills. Nick is panting and hissing, squirming underneath his touch and against the uncomfortable intrusion. "For tonight.." Jeff says lowly, almost absentmindedly, then licks a stripe up to the brunet's neck and bites his shoulder before he adds, "I'm gonna fuck you so good, Nicky, gonna pound that little ass of yours so good.." He pulls out almost completely. "Until you cum, just like that, without being touched." He snaps his hips once. His hot breath hits Nick's ear and the brunet shivers in anticipation.

"Jesus, Jeff," he mutters under his breath, gripping the sheets so hard that his knuckles turn white, just to keep himself from screaming. He feels the weight of the blond's whole body pressed against the length of his and he slowly rocks against it.

"Yeah, that's it, babe," Jeff nibbles on his earlobe and tightens his grip on Nick's hips. "And then, then I'm gonna fuck your filthy mouth and you'll take it like the bitch you are," he scrapes his teeth over the brunet's slick skin, following the pattern of freckles and tiny moles at the base of his neck. "Swallow all of it, you understand?" Nick moans loudly. " _You understand?_ " Jeff repeats and digs his thumb harder into the brunet's flesh. Quickly, biting his lip, Nick nods. "Good." Jeff's voice is already strangled, when he finally starts to move shallowly at first, then deeper and deeper, in and almost fully out until he settles into a merciless rhythm.

He changes the angle and holds on to Nick's shoulders for leverage, fucking hard into him. All he hears is the slapping of skin on skin, the blood in his ears and the constant whimpering sound that is Nick. The bed is rocking beneath them, squeaking ever so slightly as the fireworks outside illuminate the room in bright flashes of color. Then suddenly, the whimpering stops and Jeff can see the brunet's hands grabbing fistfuls of the comforter, shortly followed by a choked-out cry as Nick spurts all over the sheets. His body is trembling, but Jeff doesn't stop. If anything he increases his speed as he rides him through his aftershocks, successfully torturing his prostate and leaving bruise marks where his fingers hold on for the dear life of it. Nick is pleading. He is whining. Gasping. "Too much,  _please_ , no more," he utters, but the blond is once again not stopping. He doesn't have to; not until he wants to or their safeword gets thrown in the mix.

Writhing underneath Jeff's ruthless touch, between the tight heat that forms at his spine and the burn of his tears, Nick feels like he's being torn apart. And then, finally, Jeff pulls out, quickly turns him around and again pins him to the bed. He jerks himself as he moves onto the mattress and up to straddle Nick's chest, then nudges his lips apart and fucks his mouth like he promised he would. His head is tilted back as he works himself, his wanton groans filling the dead silent room before he fills Nick's mouth with thick streaks of hot cum. His head falls to his chest, blond fringe covering his eyes from sight, and after a while he looks at his lover, just about coming down from his high, fascinated by the fucked out look in the brunet's dark eyes. He grins lazily as he wipes a sticky droplet off Nick's chin and feeds it to him. "How do you find the taste of your defeat?" he asks, playing with the brunet's swollen lower lip, his breathing still a little labored.

With crinkling eyes, Nick darts his tongue out and gives Jeff's thumb a quick lick. "Bittersweet."


	12. Destroy me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Here comes the final angst.. strong language, violence and all that fun stuff.
> 
> You ever have this story planned out in your head and you think it's great but when you write it down it's a bunch of nonsense and you want to cry? That's been my life for the last two months... Ugggh..
> 
> If you don't get what's going on the first time, that's totally fine. Just PM me and I'll be happy to try to explain ;)

"So, Mom invited you for dinner..." The boys are sitting at the outskirts of a huge parking lot at one of the malls in town. Nick blows out some smoke through his nostrils before he takes another drag and then hands his cigarette to Jeff.

"Very funny, pretty boy. You know I actually don't care for your family, right?"

"...hey!?" Jeff protests. Well, halfheartedly, if anything, really.

"Come on. They're pretty damn horrible."

"Well," Jeff starts, "You can't choose your family... Biologically, anyway. Kurt's the one I chose outside of home." He looks down, smiling shyly before he glances over to the brunet through his lashes.  _And you_ , he wants to add. "And you," he adds, because he's not shy. He refuses to be, so to hell with that!

Nick huffs a laugh and surveys the lot, a group of three slowly walking their way. "Ugh, fuck off," he smiles. "Why don't you live with your dad then?"

"Don't know him." Jeff says. "After the divorce.. I mean, he's paying for everything, but I never really got to meet him.. as an adult, you know? Not since I was 5, anyway. Mom won't allow it."

"Don't know him." Jeff says. "After the divorce. I mean, he's paying for everything, but I never really got to meet him... as an adult, you know? Not since I was 5, anyway. Mom won't allow it."

"Geez, Sterling, grow some fucking balls.. You're almost 18, right? Just look for him. Get out! You don't want to be here anyway." He takes the cigarette and inhales deeply. The butt glimmers bright orange as the last bit of tobacco swiftly burns to ash and falls to the ground. Nick tilts his head back and blows rings of smoke above their heads.

"I think he moved to New York or something." The blond lifts a hand to push his fingers through the rings. He glances at Nick, who is solemnly focused on the approaching bunch of thuggish looking people, and then fans the rings away all together. "What about you?" he asks, "It's not like I've seen any of your folks around." With a sigh, Nick flicks the burned out butt away and stands up, offering Jeff a hand, which he refuses. The blond stands, brushing grass off his ass with a few hard slaps of his palms, and is almost sure that he can feel the brunet's gaze burning into his flesh. He grins and throws Nick a suggestive look. "Let's get this over with. I see that you got other important business to take care of... with me." Seeing the corners of Nick's mouth twitch, he reaches over and touches his arm lightly. "Hey Nick?" The brunet is barely suppressing a smile, though his expression hardens as soon as the group walks into earshot. "I need to tell you some-"

Nick gives him a knowing once over. "Can it wait?"

"Yeah, sure. No rush.. I mean, just, you know..."

A call cuts him off. "Yo, faggots!" Jeff isn't even sure where he was going with that sentence anyway.

"Fuck off, Mitch." Nick steps onto the gravel of the parking space. "You got what I asked for?" he inquires as soon as they are eye to eye. Well, how much eye to eye they can be, with Nick being not that tall and all. Jeff suppresses his snickers.  _Now's not the time to get yourself killed._

"I don't know why you feel like you can make demands, Duval. You don't get to tell me what to do." Mitch, a tall young man with a buzz cut and jeans riding so low under his non-existing ass that his swag runs the risk of falling out, gobs on the ground.  _Charming._  Just like his two friends. New Kids* are freaking classy in comparison. Biting his lip, Jeff names them Baseball Bat and Fu Manchu.

He thinks he remembers Fu Manchu from a few months ago... He got a haircut. Looks awful.

"Consider yourself lucky that Dimir doesn't give two fucks about how you get the money in." Mitch jerks his head at Baseball Bat who hands two black plastic bags over. "He'll be in town soon, by the way. If I were you, I'd lay low and move the shit as soon as possible." Jeff wants to wipe the shit-eating grin off this weasel's nasty face. "We're doing some laundry next week, I can count you in, right?"

"Of course," Nick snubs and hands Jeff the bags. He extends a hand with an envelope, containing his earnings of the last few weeks. _Anything to pay off the debt_ , he thinks.

Jeff tries so hard not to sigh out loud right now. He isn't supposed to know anything about this. He's just here for backup, because – let's be real – who else does Nick know in this city who'd have his back? The prospect of punching Mitch in the face was a slight bonus.. Just because he's the cousin of Nick's boss doesn't actually make him anything more than what he really is. A damn cockroach. Also, Jeff kinda owes Nick for messing with his business a while ago. Winning the Skanks back as clientele was huge pain in the- ...a huge piece of work, I can tell you.

* * *

It's been two weeks when Jeff sees him again (Nick actually climbed through his window...  _Moron_ ), five of those days without any contact whatsoever. Says he's been out. Says it's business like Jeff is some wife he comes home to who has no right to know. Things get ugly, for real this time. They fight, they fuck and they fight some more until Nick spills his plan of getting back at his boss, Vladimir Clemens, part of the Clemens family that basically rules half of the Ohio underground. If there is a meth lab, there's a Clemens for sure. Stabbing? No big deal. Grand theft auto, spliff, breaking and entering, you name it. Never anything too big to catch the police's attention, though, but they're still powerful enough that you definitely don't want to get in their way. Jeff thinks they probably have family members in the police or something, although Nick isn't able to confirm any of that.

So, that week, they don't waste any more time. They already know that Nick hasn't made enough money again, so it's decided that he would meet his boss at dawn that Saturday, following an informal invitation he'd gotten while "doing business." It's laundering. Not like Jeff doesn't know what's going on.

Well, Nick decided that he would go alone, so that Jeff would be safe and he could maybe get a shot of getting rid of Vladimir alone. While Jeff had decided that Nick was an idiot for thinking that the blond wouldn't see through his stupid plan right away and would go anyway. With his own version of backup. Not really the brunet's style, but hopefully effective nonetheless.

_This time last year_ , Jeff thinks as he then shivers in his jeans jacket under the highway, he was out with Kurt and Blaine for spring break, dancing, partying. He used to love watching his best friend interact with his boyfriend. It was the only healthy relationship he's ever known, and then that also went down the drain. He knew that Blaine had moved on, actually, had seen him a few months ago with a tall brunet on some dance floor, but he hadn't had the heart to tell Kurt. Not when his best friend was clearly still so hung up.

In this all but suspicious meeting place under the highway, Vladimir was standing in the half light, pale grey suit contrasting against the dark background.  _Is that a gun under your waistband or are you just happy to see my boyfriend?_  Jeff deadpans in his head. It would have been stupid to assume that the Clemens' men weren't going to be armed. Of course they are.

"It's been too long, Nicholas," Vladimir greets Nick when he's staggered over from where he's parked his piece of crap of a vehicle. Fu Manchu pats Nick down for weapons and takes his knife from his back pocket. Just able to withstand the urge to face-palm himself, Jeff squeezes his eyes shut and grimaces.  _Idiot!_  "It's come to my attention that your payments have gone down, is that so?" Shortly, Vladimir glances in Jeff's direction before he reaches out to pat the brunet's cheek. Nick's eyes flutter shut for a second as he forces himself not to flinch away. "Now I see what's keeping you from holding your side of the deal." Without taking his eyes off of Nick, he motions two of his men towards the piers. "Well, well. Pleased to meet you, Mr. Sterling."

Nick's eyes snap open as Jeff is dragged out from his hiding place and shoved to the brunet's side. He instinctively steps in front of him. "Leave him," the brunet bites out. "He has nothing to do with this."

"Oh, but this is where you're wrong." Vladimir sounds almost delighted. He takes a few steps towards the boys and Nick presses desperately further into Jeff's front. Mitch takes the grey jacket from his cousin and puts it on a hanger in the dark SUV. He also pockets his rings and hands him Nick's knife. Jeff wants to laugh. Or cry. Whatever... "You know by now that killing you, my dear Nicholas, was never my intention. As long as you can keep your part of our little agreement, I don't have to hurt you, or anyone around you." His eyes wander over to Jeff, who looks both furious but petrified. He of course knows about Sarah by now. That's why they're here. To even the scales and alongside free Nick from this family's grip. Well, wishful thinking has always been his strong suit. "Never forget what I did for you, Nicholas, and how I welcomed you back to the family with open arms even after you betrayed us.. You owe me, I own you." Vladimir has rolled up his sleeves and Jeff wants to snort at his fucking use of words..  _Welcomed back, all right, by killing his sister.. If that isn't the best Welcome Back gift ever, I don't know what is..._ He glances at the brunet's profile. He sees the tension in his jawline, his shoulders and places a hopefully reassuring hand between Nick's shoulder blades.  _He doesn't own you, Nick._  Jeff is so desperately biting his tongue so he won't blurt these thoughts out on accident, he thinks he's drawing blood. It hurts so much.  _Please, don't believe him! You belong with me; your heart is mine! And the rest we're gonna figure out. Just wait._  He clings to the conviction that his backup plan will work, even when he had to lie to Nick about it. As long as they survive this night...

"He'll never let me go, don't you understand?" They are in the middle of a shouting match and Nick isn't exactly sure he's going to win this one. He tries anyway; has to. "Nothing but a steady income is what I am to him. We won't give that up! He never does!..."

"You're only one of the little fish, Nick. It's not like you alone pay his bills."

Nick sighs resigned. His forehead is furrowed and greasy. His hair falls in heavy strands into his eyes. „No. Just doing the local dirty work."

"See? So yes, I don't understand! Why can't you move away? Or pay a ransom or something? Anything!?"

"I already  _moved_... But I'm in his dept. It's also personal."

_Wow, Nick, thanks for that insight. So helpful._ It's that moment that Jeff decides to act on his own accord. Because his boyfriend is clearly no help at all. He's already told the blond that he wants to go alone and meet Vladimir, to talk to him about the missing money. And if that isn't a death sentence, then what is? Jeff starts shouting again, arguing. It's a suicide mission, he says. I can't lose you, too, Nick answers. And then they plan..

And lie to each other more than they ever did.

Oh, and by the way.. that "boyfriend" thing? Yep, that's a thing Jeff does now. Not that he'd ever call Nick that out loud; he's not stupid. But sometimes, in the lonely silence of his mind, he gives himself to the idea that he and Nick are in a "committed relationship" like "normal people", (whatever that means), that they love each other, and then he calls him his boyfriend.

* * *

Turns out, Nick isn't that pleased to see Jeff as backup when he meets Vladimir that night. Who would've guessed it? "You promised," he hisses at the blond as they stand in front of his boss. "Dammit, Jeff."

And now he's lying on the floor and Jeff can't do anything about it. Helplessly, he has to watch Vladimir beat his boyfriend with every word, before he himself is shoved in front of Nick's boss by a, despite his suit, shaggy looking redhead and a testosterone stuffed Fu Manchu. He  _so_  hates that guy.

Nick is pushed to his knees, Mitch tilting his chin up so that he has Jeff in focus of the one eye that isn't swollen shut yet. Vladimir looks down at him, shrugs and motions towards the blond. "You force me to do this," then he turns and lands a punch into Jeff's guts. The blond topples forward, gasping, but the redhead holds him up. "This could have been avoided," he says almost casually before he lands another one. This time he doesn't spare Jeff's face. When he finally stops, the blond is spitting blood and he glares at Vladimir with heavily lidded eyes, tears gluing his lashes together and long threads of saliva hanging from his lower lip. His eyes flicker to Nick, who's still down in the dirt, his jeans ripped at the knees from the push. His expression softens, trying to signal him that _it's okay, I can take it. Don't do anything stupid now._

Of course that's the moment when Vladimir takes his hand and breaks three of his fingers, one after another. Jeff screams in pain, flinches so violently away from the tall thug that the redhead almost loses his grip on him. "Oh, shh! Shh, handsome, don't scream." Vladimir soothes, before with the jerk of his head he has the blond shoved to the ground as well. "I hope I made myself clear," he continues as he starts for the car. "But just in case... Xander, finish this!"

The boys are hustled together on the ground from where they can watch Clemens and Mitch leaving the scene. Doesn't mean they're alone now. Nope, not at all. There are still that damn redhead, Fu Manchu and Baseball Bat beginning to close in on them. BB stomps his cigarette butt out beneath his heel, swinging his bat once, twice, waiting like a caged animal to be set free. To get the green light.

Jeff doesn't give a damn about any of them. He's crawled over to Nick, hand hovering over the brunet's ribs, not sure which injuries to check first. They exchange a few words, Nick coughs and laughs, and when the blond hears the gravel scrunch behind them, he gets up. Not for too long, though, because then he is back on his ass with Nick pleading lowly. "Just go."  _I can't lose you._  Because he's a big ass coward, the brunet doesn't say that out loud.  _I just can't.._  Family dead or close to it; because of him. No, he can't bear another death. And he won't. "Jeff, GO!"

But Jeff isn't fast enough. They catch him as he sprints off to get his freaking help going. Why is nothing happening? They grab him by the back of his jacket so that his falls on his ass. He's hauled up and they hold him tightly as they literally punch the air out of him. The end of a bat hits him especially hard and he doesn't know whether he imagines hearing a crack within himself or not. He whimpers, Nick's name like a prayer on his lips, pleading in his mind that he'll escape. Or that he'll save him. Jeff isn't really sure which one he'd prefer. Actually, he'd rather have Nick alive than himself, but of course Nick is an idiot and stands up again, throws himself at the thugs and manages to draw attention to himself only. The redhead pushes Jeff to the ground before he draws his knife and joins the others as they start beating the brunet once more. And this time it isn't for show, not to scare, not to warn. Jeff understands that now and he claws at the ground until he's crawled over and grabs the redhead's legs harshly, and only when Nick doesn't move anymore, he is kicked in the gut and suffocated by a foot stepping on his throat.

The redhead is small enough that Jeff can reach his crotch when he laboriously extends his arm from where he is lying on the ground and he grabs him through his slacks, ready to rip his fucking junk out. The redhead yelps and removes his foot, cursing while the blond is coughing and rattling. "Nick," the name leaves his lips like a mantra. He looks over, but the brunet doesn't move at all.

"Nick!" Jeff is screaming now; the words hurt as they leave his raw throat, but he doesn't stop screaming. And then there is a low voice nearby, cursing him, calling him a little piece of shit, shortly followed by a blindingly sharp pain in his side. Faintly, the sound of police sirens drown out the background noise.  _Finally_ , the blond thinks as he holds one hand up, only to see it stained with blood, before he sees the Clemens' men escape and then himself slips into unconsciousness.

And now.. Now it's all over and he is crying, sobbing really, loud and undignified, sometimes silently into the crook of his elbow. His side hurts like a bitch, the painkillers are gradually wearing off again. He isn't allowed out of bed yet, but one of the nurses takes pity on him and wheeled him the familiar way down the hall every night. "Please," he pleads and takes cold hands into his own, squeezing them hard to maybe bring life back into the unmoving limbs. There is life somewhere inside, but not much. The monotonous beeping of the heart monitor is the one thing that keeps him from falling apart completely. He fled his own bed to be here. He needs to be. Needs to see that he isn't dead. "Stay with me." His voice is lost in the silence of the white room. "I'm in love with you, you moron! You can't leave me now!" He snorts disgustingly loud and dries his eyes with the sleeve of the cardigan he put over his own hospital gown. "Just.. wake up, Nick."

And he can't help but drown himself in all the memories of that day they decided to die for each other, to free each other... They tend to resurface even more when he's on his own. They are different from the ones that make him flinch, like the ones of his own pathetic panting, the ache from his muscles, the cracked ribs stabbing him from within, the feeling of impotence.. He dreads that one especially.

* * *

"What is this? A suicide mission? Revenge? Tell me! I'm not letting you be beaten to a pulp over the problems I caused!"

"You know I can't. You won't be a part of this."

"Shit, Nick, why are you such a control freak? I've always been a part of this, ever since you walked through that fucking door in that fucking Spanish class. Fuck!" Jeff shouts and buries both hands in his bright hair, tousling it into a wild shape in the process.

"Because the one-," Nick shouts back, then stops himself and tries again, more softly this time. "Because the one time I wasn't, I lost everything."

"But what could you-?" A young mother walks by, flashy purple stroller squeakily trundling over the pavement, so he lowers his voice and suddenly Jeff remembers something.  _Purple.._  Like Nick's room. Not really his room, though. "Your sister?" he asks tentatively, cautiously. Nick flinches. It's like his body is unwantedly reacting to the emotional distress. And that's all of an answer he needs. "Oh Nick," he sighs and against his better judgment, he steps forward and wraps the brunet in his arms. Fuck PDA, he needs to give comfort.. He needs it! And Nick needs it, too. No matter how much he'll deny it.

After a while, when Nick had finally given in and hugged back, Jeff slowly moves out of their embrace and brushes his dark fringe out of his eyes. "I- want you to tell me what you planned so I can tell you that your plan sucks. Now, okay?" Unceremoniously, Nick complies. Because he's fucking whipped and hell, if he cares anymore. He regrets nothing.

Not that Jeff hasn't noticed either. Afterward, he has one hand in his hair, brows furrowed and a torrent of profanities lowly flowing from his lips. He is pacing, from left to right, right to left, towards Nick, away again, thinking until suddenly, he just stops. "Fuck," he mutters. Then he laughs, almost hysterically as he pulls a little more on his hair. " _Fuck..._ "

"Babe?" Nick asks and makes Jeff laugh even more. Instead of answering, the blond attempts what ends as a sad impression of a whipping sound.

"Whoopa!" he grins.

"Are you okay? Need any help, maybe? A psychiatrist, for example?"

"Ha ha, funny... Munchkin got jokes." Jeff moves his arm as if he was about to whip Nick on the ass. "All I'm saying is that you, my dear, are whipped."

"I hope those Chandler noises are meant to be ironic." Not that Nick has any point in arguing Jeff's point. But did he need to make it so ridiculously?

"Well, duh!"

Nick rubs the bridge of his nose. "Why me?" he whines lowly.

"Maybe I should sing our song again?"

"What so- Oh God, please don't!"

"You think I'm gorgeous, you want to smooch me.."

He was wrong. Nick regrets everything. "Please stop!  _Please.._ "

The blond blows his bangs out of his eyes and winks. "Or else?"

"Yes. Or else."

"Fine. You're no fun today." He laughs until he has to cough.

"Want me to bend you over, see how much fun I can be?"

"Maybe later..." Jeff sighs dramatically. "You sure know how to please your man. Which actually proves my point." He slumps down onto Nick's lap and hugs him around the neck. "And also, we're fucked. You know that, right?" The blond's expression hardens again. Serious business time. "And that revenge isn't the right way, like, ever?"

"So?" Nick looks guarded, his arms are tightly wrapped around his body, his defenses back up again.

The blond grins mischievously. "Well, fuck that!" Later that night and not on the verge of bliss from coming hard down his boyfriend's throat anymore, Jeff is a little less optimistic about the whole thing. "If I die..." he begins, gripping Nick's hand tightly.

"Shut up, Sterling, you're not going to die.."

"But if I die," Jeff insists, "Don't let them put 'Beloved Son' or some shit on my headstone.. I don't want that to-," he gets up again, ready to face Fu Manchu and that damn redhead now that Vladimir is gone, "to be a lie."

"Seriously?" Nick huffs a laughs, then coughs pathetically before he collapses onto his back. "Fucker," he ratters, " _Fine._ "

And it is then, that Jeff knows that they were always headed this way, one way or another. They burned too hot for their own good. Like with every other rush, once the adrenaline is gone, what is left is merely pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *the New Kids, for all of you who don't know the show, look like this: goo(.gl)/vuaFI
> 
> You don't know Chandler Bing and his whipping sound? Well, you should! goo(.gl)/o6a57


	13. Renew me

4 years later.

It would be raining later, Jeff thinks as he walks down the boulevard by the river. He can tell now. Ever since.. He scratches the wide scar above his hip absentmindedly. With cigarette in hand and sunglasses on his face, he walks through Columbus as the nobody he is here. A nobody between nobodies. The capital isn't nearly as big as the Big Apple where Jeff had spent the last few years, but definitely big enough to stay anonymous if you wanted to be. Which, in fact, was exactly what he wanted. Right after high school, Jeff had left his mother and brother behind. He'd left Kurt, too, although he likes to think that they are still in contact.. At least every once in a while..

Anyhow, he'd left them all behind. Went away from all the pain that Lima had caused him, the mind-numbing relations he'd had, no feelings attached, before he'd met this stupid... before he'd had to learn an important life lesson. He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. All he'd actually learned was that love was dangerous, especially if you love someone who is, in fact, dangerous. But if he was completely honest with himself, which he hated, by the way, then he'd simply been a coward. The sight of Nick in a coma wasn't something he could stand for too long. In the few months after the confrontation, he'd cried more than he had all together in his entire life. Nick eventually did wake up, but he wasn't the same, not really. And so Jeff had left, heartbroken, though not his will to move on. To be happy. At least, that's what he tells himself at night.

And he is, in a way, happy. He'd found a job right away when he came back to Ohio. In fact, he's on his lunch break right now. As he walks on, his long sweater sleeves slide down, frustrating him along the way, and uncover his wrists every time he takes another drag from his cigarette. Bad habits die hard, he thinks.

Thinking back, reconsidering every decision that led him here, like he does every time he has too much alone time on his hands, he's come to understand. All he ever wanted was to be seen, conceived,  _understood_. He wanted so desperately to be touched and held; felt. To let everything consume him, wanted the games, the pain, the trust. He wanted everything.  _Love._  That's what that was. What he thought it was. But giving into it meant being vulnerable. He's taken the chance, but he's come to also understand that life isn't that easy. Quite on the contrary, actually. It's unforgiving, it's brutal, and for every good thing, there is always another...  _No,_  he sighs and blows white smoke into the wind. He shakes his head and has to stop himself from spiraling back into the most depressing parts of his mind.

Anyway, he'd taken the chance and it'd been the best and the worst thing ever. Not every chance would end this dramatically, he hopes, but this one did anyhow. He's paid the price for trying to do the right thing; in this case it was a hell of a lot of pain and the decision to leave, for the sake of his own sanity. He wouldn't have survived for long seeing Nick as broken as he was after he'd woken up. The brunet himself couldn't look back at him. The guilt and the anger was eating him up. That's some deep shit for a therapist, not a new high school graduate with his own emotional trauma. He wishes he'd been strong enough, taken another chance.

So... rain. The scar is itchy and feels uncomfortable.. and isn't that just Jeff's life? It reminds him constantly of all the things that have gone wrong; not that he actually wants to erase these memories, just... See, he went to a tattoo parlor when he turned 19, for example. To make the scar into something more organic, so that it wouldn't defile his skin so obviously.. They used earthy tones to create an abstract flame around the sensitive tissue and it was simply perfect.. To him, it's about having seen the light, to have fire step into your life and be burned by it... and to survive that. It symbolized so much more to Jeff than just the memory of pain. However, he categorically rejects the phoenix metaphor that his most recent lovers seem to read into his tattoo. They'll be fascinated and attentive when all he really wants is to go back to random hook ups, no feelings attached, no pleasantries exchanged. Well, except for the obvious ones. Come to think of it, he hates that metaphor more and more each day. What's done is done, and what's left is the tiniest flame with the promise of the inferno of days passed. He wonders if there will ever be anyone ever again to ignite his fire. He sure hopes so, but until then he goes back to editing some online magazines. Nothing special, mostly trash talk, but it pays the rent.

Every time Kurt asks him why he's wasting his youth to being a human spell check, he always answers that: "there are worse things I could be doing right now. Killing people, for example."  _Or killing myself_ , he usually adds in his mind, because he does that now. Hides stuff, just so that he doesn't have to lie. And he'd lie if he said that he's never thought about it before. Especially after Vladimir was able to weasel himself out of the police investigation. Fucking corruption. No wonder Jeff's backup police officer didn't do jack squat to help them and only called the ambulance after Vladimir had left the scene. Well, a few of the thugs that had put both Jeff and Nick into the hospital were imprisoned, but still.. It hadn't quite fit his expectation of evening the scales. However, repeating it over and over, the new mantra of his life: what's done is done. It's the past. Doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt, though.

He crosses the bridge towards his usual coffee place and looks up one last time, catching the last sun rays before a dark cloud moves and covers it completely. He takes another drag and then stops to grind the gleaming butt under his heel.

"Someone once told me that causes cancer," he hears a voice say from the other side of the bridge. He turns and takes his glasses off, seeing a dark figure leaning against the opposite railing, and he can't help but grin in disbelief.

"I know," he answers slowly, tries to remember. "And growth... disturbances?"

There is a long moment of profound silence. Neither move from their spot. Until, finally, they do.

"Come on. Walk with me, pretty boy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End.
> 
> thanks for sticking around! :) Sorry if this one didn't go the way you expected it to. I always knew how I wanted this to end, but I'm not really good at figuring stuff out in between.. if that makes sense
> 
> if you have any questions, just ask me here or on my tumblr: beautyinfiction.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


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